If You Leave
by mattnme04
Summary: Gabriella discovers Troy has been cheating on her and leaves without telling anyone, including Troy. Will Troy go after her? Will anyone discover where she went?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I was sitting on our bed, and when I say our, I say it in its broadest sense of course, thinking about it all…thinking about him. I knew I spent so much more time thinking about him than he did thinking about me. But I just wanted to understand what had happened, understand what had gone wrong and where. We used to be so strong, so together…so in love, but then…everything started falling apart. He was dragging my whole world down to the ground, I was drowning and he was the one that was holding my head under the water.

I loved him, and he used to love me too. We'd been together for three long years. Then, about two months ago, he'd proposed to me and I'd accepted. Now I was wearing a diamond ring on my finger that seemingly did nothing other than push us apart. It was only after he'd asked me to marry him that things started to go wrong. He seemed to drift further and further away from me. He was on the riverbank, and I was on the raft, the river had met the rapids, I was calling out for him to help me, but he ignored me, he just left me there, to capsize and never return to the surface. Whenever I attempted to talk to him about the up coming wedding he would just ignore me, either by visibly fazing out or just plain and simple walking away. I wanted to convince myself that he just had cold feet about everything that was happening, but why would he not want to speak to me about it? That was why I knew that there was something else going on behind this too. He had another reason to be ignoring me.

I didn't even know what had happened. I couldn't put my finger on my having done something, but he never spoke to me about it. He'd even stopped sleeping in our bed and started to use the guest room. He only ever came back to our room when he needed to meet his natural needs. And even that became less and less frequent.

I looked around myself, taking in every last detail of our room: the large mahogany wardrobe, the lamp and the desk in one corner, the elaborate dressing table close to the windows. I had so many memories that I'd forged in this room, but they all seemed to be going down the drain, floating away in a swirl of movement. How could so much happiness just fade away? I didn't know but I knew that the happiness was being replaced by pain, something that I didn't want to have to go through. Not again.

Sometimes I would lose myself in my thoughts and my memories. If I wasn't careful I even occasionally found myself talking out loud, answering myself. My depression was beginning to get the better of me as well. I knew that I needed to get away from it all and pick myself back up before I fell too far to stop myself from landing painfully.

The sound of the ringing phone startled me as I was brought back to Earth from my musings. I quickly regained myself and reached out, lifting it off the bedside table and placing the receiver again my ear.

"Hello?" I asked the person who was calling.

"I've already got it," came the snapping voice of my fiancé. "You can hang up again."

A very feminine giggle that I thought I recognized sounded from the other end of the line. I thought about it for a split second before deciding that I wanted to know exactly what was going on.

After feigning having hung up I placed my hand over the end of the receiver to hopefully block any sounds from my end from being heard. They stayed silent for a moment before picking up their conversation where they'd left it off.

I'd been right. I had recognized that voice. It was the same one as the last time and the time before that. They were flirting…again. I hung up for real this time. I didn't want to hear that. I didn't want to be forced to listen to the man I loved and who was supposed to love me, flirt with another woman.

I could feel the warm salty tears flowing from my eyes and trickling down my face. I caught my reflection in the dressing table mirror and plunked myself in a most ungraceful manor down on the stool in front of it. I studied what I saw there. Glassy chocolate brown eyes that were slightly blood shot from my lack of sleep over the past few weeks and continuous tears, disheveled brunette hair that had once been so glossy and full of life. Framed by my hair was my oval face with tears stains on my cheeks. Large bags shadowed my eyes. I looked awful, the sight of my smiling face from the framed picture that had always been on that dresser insulted me and I reached out, forcefully knocking it down so it could no longer mock me.

What was wrong with me? Wasn't I good enough for him anymore? I couldn't accept that as an answer. I grabbed tubes of make-up and attacked my face, leaving my eyes darker than normal, my lips a shade of subtle pink and my cheeks no longer showing signs of my tears.

In a split second I decided to leave; I couldn't stay in the house with that going on. I picked up all that was mine on the dressing table, some random clothes from the cupboard, a couple of CDs, etc and stuffed them all in my backpack. I put on my hat, scarf and gloves before clumsily reaching out to pick up the receiver.

I made sure to make as much noise as I possibly could before I placed the receiver against my ear. I gave them a chance to shut up for fear of being caught. It was too bad that it was already too late for that.

Act normal as if you don't know anything, I told myself, forcing myself to breathe calmly and keep my composure.

"Sweetheart?" I questioned, but didn't give him enough time to answer before continuing, "I'm going out to the shops."

"Yeah, whatever. Why are you telling me this?" he asked, his voice sounding slightly suspicious. I didn't want him on my trail, though, so I rapidly racked my brain for some sort of excuse to feed him.

"I was just wondering whether you'd like me to bring anything back for you." _Oh yeah, Gabriella, that was just great! Very smooth. He'll never buy that! When have you ever offered to buy him something that he needed before now? Never. Which is my exact point!_

I couldn't care less at that point in time though. We usually did our shopping together and only on the very extremely rare occasion did I go out to the shops on my own. I would either go with friends or him.

After a short silent prayer I turned my attention back to what he was saying to me.

"Yeah, well I need more of those head ache tablets. Those ones that I seem to be going through at the speed of light." The way that he said it made him sound like he was blaming me for his stupid headaches!

"Ok then. I'll be going now. Goodbye, Troy."

"Yeah, ok. Bye." He said sounding irritated as I hung up again.

I didn't think he'd comprehended my usage of 'goodbye'. He just automatically assumed that I would be returning home in an hour or so time. Boy was he in for a surprise!

I looked around myself one last time, checking to see if I'd forgotten anything important. I didn't think I had. I remade the bed and put what possessions I couldn't take with me in my bag into a plastic bin bag. The room no longer even looked like I'd ever lived in it.

I knew that he wouldn't take this very well once he'd figured out that I'd actually left, but I couldn't stay in this life anymore. I refused to become a nothing for fear of losing him to some girl he'd been speaking to on the phone. I didn't want to leave. I really didn't. I'd made so many new friends in Florida and I'd become especially close to his siblings, Kevin and Kelsi. It wouldn't be easy to leave them but I wanted to start yet another new life.

I picked up my bags of possessions and crept down the stairs. I heard him still talking on the phone. I didn't want him to see me so I rushed past the open living room door even though I knew that he wouldn't have been able to see me pass from where he would have been sitting on the sofa. I swung the front door closed behind me again with a click and I left the house one last time, stuffing my bags into the boot and climbing into my car. I put the key into the ignition and turned, sighing as the engine roared to life.

I'd almost reached the turn off for the highway when I started thinking. Was I going too far by leaving him? Then it struck me that I was still wearing his ring. I couldn't just take his ring with me! He'd hunt me down and kill me to get it back. That one ring was worth more than my life. I stopped off at a gas station and bought a packet of headache tablets and some orange juice. Well, I needed a reason to go back to the house, and I'd said that I was going out to the shops.

I came to the rational explanation that he must have been talking to a very close friend. I knew married men who still flirted with their close female friends. Could that explain this situation? After all, when one proposed to someone it is because one loves this someone and one doesn't propose to someone and then just stop loving them and move onto the next best thing, right?

I swung my car around and drove back in the direction I'd just come from. When I arrived back at the house my car's space on the drive had been taken up by a small disgustingly bright yellow colored mini, one of the new designs.

I looked up at the window and caught sight of Troy's shadow through the blinds. He looked as though he were talking to someone. That could easily be explained, it could have been a producer or anything. But somehow I didn't see a record producer having a yellow mini.

My suspicions were right because it most defiantly wasn't one of the male record producer's shadows that came into view the next moment. It was a female's. A, what was most likely, very beautiful female's. I couldn't move from my seat in the car. All I could do was stare. Who was this woman? And why did the outline of her shadow look so familiar?

The next thing I knew my eyes were sending pictures of this female leaning in closer to Troy with very clear intentions to my brain. I was not about to watch that. I wouldn't bring myself down so low. I hung my head and averted my gaze to the steering wheel. Whoever said steering wheels are not interesting to stare at was lying.

I didn't cry at first. All I could do was sit there, stunned by what I had seen, the images haunting my mind. Thoughts that I didn't want to think screaming at me so that I had no hopes of ignoring them. My vision clouded and I looked around myself in a daze, not fully able to remember where I was or what I was doing there.

Then the shaking started. My hands were affected first, involuntary tremors running through them over and over. Then the tremors spread to my arms, my chest, and my legs. No longer able to stop them, hot tears slid from my eyes and down my cheeks, over my lips and hung suspended from my chin before the tiny droplets of water fell, crashing on to my lap.

This wasn't how my life was supposed to be! I was supposed to get engaged to and then marry the man I loved and who loved me in return. My boyfriend of three years and newly titled fiancé was not supposed to cheat on me with some slut.

I had no idea who this girl was but I had no doubts that what I thought was true when I labeled her a slut. Who else would knowingly steal someone else's boyfriend from them?

The bitch's car was in my car's space in the drive, she was in my place in my house, kissing my fiancé. What sort of woman was she?

I slammed my still shaking hand against the car door and leant my head against the steering wheel, careful to miss the horn. I didn't want the horn to sound, alerting them to my presence. I wanted to quietly slip away into the night and be free of the man I'd believed in for so long and given so much to.

This all happened in the space of but a few seconds then I reached out with my right hand and turned the keys in the ignition, revving the car up again. I didn't spare another glance back to the window but instead purposely forced myself to look only at the bonnet of the car that was swiftly making its way back out on to the deserted road.

I slammed my foot on the break, swung the steering wheel around getting the car in line before forcefully pressing the accelerator and shooting off away from my life again.

Just before I rounded the corner I spared the house one last glance in my rear view mirror. Then I turned and the house left my line of view.

I hadn't thought Troy capable of doing such a thing as that but obviously he'd had that girl on the side. I found myself wondering how long she'd been in his life too. Was she the one that he went to whenever he wanted some affection now? Was that why he'd been to visit me less and less frequently until he'd almost stopped altogether?

I furiously brushed the tears from my eyes as I sped on towards the motorway for the second time that day.

I couldn't understand why this had happened to me. I'd always loved him with all my heart. I'd never done anything wrong, so why was I being picked on?

I just wanted the old Troy back, my Troy. But he'd gone as far as I was concerned. Since I couldn't stay in Florida any longer I began furiously racking my brain for somewhere else that I could go to for the time being. And then it hit me. It was so blindingly obvious that I couldn't understand why I hadn't ever thought of it before.

I was going somewhere that I hadn't been in ever such a long time.

I was going home.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

I drove for as long as I could that night, mindlessly pressing my foot steadily against the accelerator keeping the car going at one same speed for hours on end. Tears ran down my face for the first hour or so but then they simply dried up and I no longer had any tears left to cry. But then I criticized myself for evening crying at all.

Troy wasn't worth my tears.

I needed to talk to someone, to get it all out. I considered the option of ringing Kelsi on her mobile but then decided against it. She might well have been my best friend but she was also Troy's sister. When the push came to shove would she chose her biological brother or her best friend? I didn't have very many doubts that Troy woulld take the upper hand.

She would possibly tell him where I was. I didn't want that at all. The aim for that night at least was to put as many miles between Troy and myself as I possibly could. Eventually, around 2am I couldn't drive anymore. My eyes were tired and sore from having cried and then being forced to watch the road in front of them. I rubbed them in a feeble attempt to get them to keep working for a short while longer while I searched for the closest hotel.

I finally stumbled across a Holiday Inn and hastily parked my car in the parking lot which didn't hold very many other cars. I barged into the lobby, startling the old lady behind the reception desk. I think she thought that I was in some dyer situation (which wasn't that far from the truth) and needed help, but looked relieved when I told her that I just needed a room for the night.

She booked me into a rather nice room and showed me up to it, cautiously requesting that I remain quite and not disturb the tenants of the other rooms. Well, it wasn't as if I was about to turn on the TV full blast, but I nodded and smiled warmly at her before thanking her and watching her retreat back down the hallway to the front desk.

I opened the door to the room and entered with my back pack (I hadn't seen the necessity to bring my bin bag in with me and so I'd consequently left it in the boot of the car.)

I crept into the bathroom to brush my teeth only to find the make-up that I'd smeared over my face earlier on had definitely run as a product of my tears. There was no wonder why the old lady had initially regarded me in a concerned manor. I washed the artificial substances from my skin and stared at my reflection. I found bloodshot brown eyes staring back at me, my hair in an even worse state than it had been before I left from all the times that I'd subconsciously run my hand through it.

"I'm sick of you." I snarled in a hoarse whisper. Who was I sick of? I blamed Troy for this, of course, but I hated him more than anything. I found myself mostly blaming the victim of all this: me. Troy had finally made me realize how hollow and empty my life was. I hated him for doing this to me and I hoped that he had a horrible future in store for him, which was a rare thing for me to do. I broke down and cried again because it was at that exact moment that the truth hit me: I was alone and the only person I had left to comfort me was myself.

I walked back into the bedroom and changed into my pajamas. That didn't help though when it suddenly dawned upon me that they were a pair that Troy had bought for me. I made a mental note to burn them as soon as I could but decided that there was nothing more I could do that night except to get some rest.

I collapsed on the soft bed and reached over turning off the light. I thought about Troy and if he knew that I'd gone or not yet. Did he even still care? Images of my past flew before my eyes and I found that I was powerless to stop them. I tried my best to switch my brain off and eventually I succeeded to some extent.

"_Brie?" Troy asked._

_We'd just returned from a trip to New York and I was in the process of attempting to stop myself from dropping off to sleep (which I was failing miserably at.) I wasn't fully concentrating on what was going on around me but I knew that we'd just dropped off Troy's best friends who coincidently happened to be the other members of his band and whom I'd become quite close to over time._

"_Yes?" I asked, attempting to focus my mind on what he was saying to me but not succeeding very well. _

"_I have something very important to ask you, and I just wanted to know if I could?"_

"_Go ahead." I nodded, giving him the green light._

_He stared intently at me for a moment before taking a deep breath and averting his gaze from my own. He seemed to be considering his next words. I just let the silence reign. I knew that he'd speak again when he was ready and not before. He locked gazes with me again and the level of emotions swimming in his soulful eyes actually made me gulp. _

"_I've been thinking about this for a while now and I've decided that it's what I want to do. We've been dating for almost a year now and I love you very, very much."_

"_I love you too." I interrupted him. _

"_I know, and that's why I wanted to ask you to move in with me. Would you like to?" he asked, his face contorting into a nervous but expectant expression. _

_I blinked a couple of times, attempting to understand just exactly what it was that I'd heard. Had my ears deceived me? Troy said nothing more so I expected them to not have done so. _

"_I'd love to." I answered, a sleepy smile spreading across my lips and reaching into my eyes. _

_I felt like my heart was going to explode with love. I'd been waiting for Troy to ask this question but had almost given up on the hope that he would. And now that he'd asked it, I was soaring up on cloud nine._

_A wide smile spread across his lips too and he leant forwards, capturing my lips briefly with his own before pulling away. _

"_Come on," he said excitedly but impatiently. "Let's go and get your stuff and move you in right away!"_

I shot up from the bed. The covers were in a heap on the other side of the bed to me so I could quite easily take an educated guess that I'd been thrashing about to no end during the night. I thought back to the memory that I'd just relived and yet more fresh tears sprang to my eyes.

I'd dreamt of that night again, that night when he'd asked me to move in with him. The one that made me feel so secure about our relationship. On that night I'd known that our relationship was the one that I'd spent my whole life searching for. It had felt like I was soaring sky high in ecstasy. He'd taken me home to his house that night, but that time it wasn't to only stay there for a few nights or so, it was to stay there forever.

Or so I'd thought.

I reached a hand up and gently fingered my lips. The kiss, it had felt so real. It had almost been as if his lips had actually been pressed up against my own. I loved his kisses. But I was never to get one again.

It was useless. I loved him so much, how was I supposed to ever let him go? I'd left him in body, yes, and in mind, but my heart still called out to him. My heart wanted to be back with him where it could safely love him as it so badly wanted to. I just hoped that if I started a new life for myself again then all the pain that it was feeling would seep away. Could I learn to love another?

I shook my head violently, forcing these thoughts out of my head again. I didn't want to trap myself in such thoughts again. I'd already been through this once before, but then it hadn't been as bad, he'd just simply broken up with me, not cheated on me. And we hadn't been together for a whole three years either.

I felt the need to throw something. The nearest thing to me was a pillow, and so it became the privileged object to be thrown at the wall of the room. It hit its destination with a dull thud before falling to the floor in a heap.

I was getting closer to my home town now. It would take me another full day and a half of driving to reach it but I couldn't exactly just show up there without even letting them know that I was on my way. I hadn't been there since before I moved to Florida. I'd kept in touch with my family of course, especially my closest cousin and my older brothers.

I groaned and swung my legs over the side of the bed. Still half asleep I made my way into the bathroom and turned on the water in the shower, leaving it to heat up as I quickly stripped myself of clothing. Upon stepping into the spray of warm water, I immediately felt much better and even felt my body relaxing.

I checked out of the hotel and made my way back out to my car. I popped my black hat back on top of my half dry hair and zipped up my jacket. It wasn't particularly cold outside but I loved my hat and wore it as often as I could.

A buzzing in my pocket caught my attention and I suddenly realized that it was my cell phone telling me that someone was trying to get through to me. I fished it out and looked at the caller ID, it was Kelsi. I didn't know if she'd spoken to her brother or not yet. I wanted to talk to her really badly. After all she was my best friend and although I wanted Troy to think that I was dead in a ditch somewhere I couldn't bring myself to do that to her. At the end of the day, just because she unfortunately happened to be related to Troy that didn't automatically mean that she was just like him or even voted off my list of friends.

The phone cut and I found myself thanking God. In all reality, I wasn't entirely sure whether or not I was happy that she'd hung up. I didn't know whether or not I wanted to talk to her. My head wasn't in the state to make decisions like that, but then again, whose would have been?

I pulled back onto the motorway and began my constant speed, zoning out slightly, letting the music blasting from my radio wash over me.

After a couple of hours the phone started to ring again and I knew that this time round Kelsi wouldn't hang up. After all, someone must have realized that I hadn't been home the night before. Home. It wasn't home anymore. Sighing deeply I accepted my fate and pressed the accept button.

"Hello," I said dully.

"Gabi, where are you?" she demanded. I could tell from her tone of voice that she hadn't yet spoken to her big brother. She just thought that I was hanging out somewhere like the mall, wasting time like I did often enough.

"I'm just around."

"Around where?"

Umm? What was I supposed to say? I'm on a highway heading back towards my home town, many miles away from where you are now. No, not quite. No one was to know where I was, not even Kelsi. If they knew they could tell Troy and Troy could come after me. I wasn't going to give him the chance to come back to me.

"I'm not too far away." I answered. It wasn't a full on lie. If I drove fast enough I could pretty much be outside her front door within half a day.

"Alright then, be that way. What are you doing in your place not too far away?"

"I'm sitting in my car driving on the highway." I replied truthfully. There were many highways around the place; she wouldn't ever be able to pick out which one I was on.

"Ok then, so when you get back home do you want to go and hang out somewhere or a get a pizza or something?"

The conversation was rapidly becoming something that I didn't want to be a part of. It was only a matter of time before she found out that I hadn't been home the night before and then it would click in her head. She would figure that I'd left and I planned on being too far away for her to use her mind games on me and try to trick me into going back before then.

"Uh, I don't know if I can."

"Oh, of course you can!" she answered, her voice full of joy and I knew she was about to crack one of her jokes, "I'm sure Troy won't mind letting you out if he knows that you're going to be with me."

I felt the stabbing of a dull pain in my heart when she mentioned Troy, not that I would have ever admitted it.

"I'm sorry, but I can't."

"Why not?" she asked, her voice betraying her hurt.

The conversation had lasted too long. I needed to end it right then and there.

"Kelsi? Kelsi? I can't hear you. You're fuzzy. I think I've lost my signal. I'll talk to you later. Bye!" I added some false cheer to my voice before pressing the button that would stop the call. I felt a bit guilty about it but I didn't want to tell her where I was in case it got back to him and he decided to come after me. I wanted to get away from my life with him. I wanted a new beginning.

But before I could have a new beginning, I needed to end the old one. I swiftly scanned through my phone book until I reached Kevin's number. I clicked the button that would make it show up on the screen and then I pushed "call" before placing the phone next to my ear.

"Hello?" Kevin's voice floated to me after the sixth or seventh ring.

"Kev, it's me."

"Hey Gabi, what's up?"

"Nothing interesting and you?"

"Not much."

"Have you spoken to Troy yet today?" I asked as nonchalantly as I could.

"No, I don't think so. Not yet anyway. Why?"

"OK, well when you do speak to him can you ask him "why?" and let him know that I'm fine, please?"

"Why can't you tell him yourself?" he asked, sounding skeptic. He knew that something was up too. These people knew me far too well.

"You'll find out when you talk to him." I replied cryptically.

"I'm confused."

"Don't worry. It'll all become obvious when you speak to your brother. I have to go now. Bye."

And with that I hung up, switched my phone off and tucked it away in the glove pocket.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

After I was sure that my phone was safely hidden away I stopped off at a gas station to fill up and decided that I would have to stop off one more time that night, leaving me a journey of about an hour an a half more in the car for the next day.

I pulled in at a small motel and took a room for the night. I took my backpack in with me again and attempted to reach my cousin or one of my brothers. Unfortunately none of them seemed to be in and I decided that I was too tired to be bothered.

I took another shower before crashing down in front of the small TV that was provided for an hour or so. I needed sleep. Even though while driving one isn't doing all that much, it still sucks one's energy like a leech. The fact that it was almost midnight could have helped my sleepiness but I felt better blaming the driving.

The room was slightly cramped but I adapted quickly. My sleep that night was restless and, from the state the blankets were in the next morning when I woke up, I felt sure that I could safely say that I'd been doing a lot of tossing and turning. In my dreams I'd kept seeing Troy , Kevin, and Kelsi. They all kept coming after me, no matter where I ran they would always be there.

When I woke up I took a long hot shower. I cried again. It felt good. I climbed back into my car after paying, put the keys in the ignition and then my phone rang. I still hadn't changed the ring tone, one of Troy and the guys' songs, and because I hadn't fully recovered from my crying session I shouted all sorts of obscenities at it as though it were alive. It wasn't like it could actually hear me, and I knew that, but I just needed to vent all my hurt and rage.

It was Kelsi ringing again. I knew that by this time it would have become more public that I hadn't been 'home' for two nights in a row. I couldn't just stay silent, I had to pick it up and explain everything to her, even if it hurt me in the process.

"Hello."

"Gabi! Troy called last night. He wanted to know if I'd spoken to you or seen you since Tuesday. He said that you hadn't been home that night or all throughout yesterday. That makes this the second day. Isn't it getting a bit ridiculous?"

"Not from where I'm standing." I answered, attempting to cover the strain in my voice. I knew I wasn't doing a very good job of it, but I refused to just break down again.

"Why? Tell me what's up," she asked, worry lacing her voice.

"Ok, but you have to promise not to say anything to anyone, especially Troy. And by the way, did you tell him that you'd spoken to me yesterday?"

"No, I decided that I needed to talk to you first and find out what was going on. And I don't know if I can not tell him, Gabi. I mean he is my brother."

"Promise or I'm not telling you anything!" I ordered, my voice rising.

"Ok, ok, I promise."

I knew she would stay true to her word. She might have been Troy's sister, but she was my best friend and best friends keep promises.

"You know that Troy's freaking out, right?"

"You mean that he's actually realized that I'm gone?" I asked sarcastically.

"Why are you sounding so mean? Something happened between you and my brother and you are going to tell me about it right now this minute or God damn your soul! Or, wait a minute; was it me who did something?"

Stop! Wait, where did she get that idea from? She was going nuts and I had to set the record straight.

"It wasn't you. It was Troy. He cheated on me, Kelsi…" I whispered, trailing off at the end of my sentence for fear of bursting into tears again.

"What?" She asked shocked. I could tell that she'd stopped her incessant pacing that had been going on before, and I could just picture her standing there with her mouth hanging open in disbelief. Her brother? Her brother, Troy cheated on his girlfriend of three years? I was sorry to shatter your bubble containing your perfect vision of your brother, but, dear Kelsi, he wasn't all that perfect.

"I saw him, in the house, with another girl." I gulped out.

"Who?" she asked, her tone betraying the fact that she was still in shock.

"I don't know. But I couldn't sit and watch that. I couldn't stay."

"Wait a minute. Gabi, what did she look like?"

"Uh…" I strained my memory, trying to remember what the bitch in the window had looked like but I could only get a fuzzy picture, "She was tall and slender…probably very beautiful. Big boobs, she's probably had at least two jobs done on them. I think her hair was long, but it was up so I couldn't really tell. I think she had a big nose too."

"You just described Viviane. She was one of Troy's girlfriends years ago, back in high school. From what Troy tells me, she's been trying to get back in contact with him ever since he got famous. She came back to town a couple of months ago. I didn't know that she'd contacted Troy."

"You knew this and you didn't say anything to me?" I asked, feeling betrayed and, if it was possible, even hollower. So he'd cheated on me with his ex girlfriend? He'd stooped low this time. And why hadn't Kelsi told me about her earlier? If she had, I might have been able to sort it all out, and I wouldn't be running away right now.

"Oh Gabi, I didn't know that that was going to happen! I didn't think that he was stupid enough to go back to her. I told him to stay away from her; it was obvious that she would be trouble." Well, he'd obviously not listened to her, had he? "But, wait, if you've left…where are you now?" I didn't say anything. "Gabi?"

"Just outside Albuquerque." I sighed after having taken a deep breath.

"What?" She exclaimed going even further into shock if that was possible.

"You know nothing!" I half shouted at her.

Just then I heard her door bell ring in the back ground. Well, at least that was a good way to get the conversation to finish. I wasn't entirely sure that I wanted to continue talking to her right then. I just wanted to get to my cousin's house and sleep in a comfortable bed.

I heard her playing with the lock on the door and then it swung open.

"Troy, what are you doing here?"

It was Troy. I found myself praying to God that Kelsi wouldn't say anything to him, begging him to let me get away from this without having to go through Troy too.

"Kelsi, I need to know, have you seen or spoken to Brie? At all in the last couple of days? Who are you on the phone to?"

"Oh no one, just one of those people who try to sell products. I think this one wants me to sign up to some other gas company."

"Do you want me to get rid of them for you?" he asked. I could tell that he was tired and didn't want to play around right then. I'd spent long enough around him to be able to pick out each and every one of his moods from his tone of voice. He hated telemarketers so he would be more than happy to give one a piece of his mind right then. He hated them in normal circumstances so with his mood he would loathe them. He used to make me laugh whenever one phoned the house.

"No, it's ok; you taught me well, I can do it on my own." There was a slight pause and I heard footsteps, signaling that she was walking away from her brother.

"You stupid vendor! I don't want to buy your fucking product, go screw yourself!" She sounded so hesitant and nervous that it was actually funny.

There was a slight pause and then she came back, her voice a low whisper, "Don't ring me, I'll ring you." And then the phone cut.

I stared at the phone for a moment before shaking my head slightly, shrugging and turning back to the road in front of me. More boring hours passed as I drove the last stretch to Albuquerque. Memories both good and bad flickered before my eyes as I drove. I was reluctant to return to all those memories but it was home and anywhere was better than back in Florida.

I parked down the road a little way away from Laura's small house. Walking the short distance I made my way up to her front door and knocked loudly. No one answered so I tried knocking again. Again there was no answer. I changed sides of the street and made my way up to my closest brother's door.

I rang the bell and then waited. I didn't have very much hope that he'd be in because back when I actually lived at home with the rest of my family, he would never be in.

To my great surprise, just as I was about to abandon all hope and resign myself to going straight to one of my aunts' houses the door creaked open to show a very tired looking, half dressed, Paul. His hair was tousled and it was obvious that he'd slept well from the way that it all stuck up at the back.

"Gabi! What are you doing here?" he asked, a look of pure shock and confusion gracing his features. His sleepy look immediately vanished before returning again not long after. Who could blame the guy? He hadn't seen me in the flesh for over a year.

"Oh yeah, I'm pleased to see you too!" I laughed at him and his facial expression. His eyes were as wide as a sleepy person's could be and his jaw was hanging slightly. Add that to his tousled hair and buttons all done up the wrong way, and if I hadn't known him I would have thought him to be on pot.

"You know I don't mean it like that!" he protested, his face waking up slightly, "It's just that you're the last person I expected to turn up on my doorstep."

"Well, I tried calling, but you, my dear reliable older brother, either were not in or did not pick up."

He cracked a sleepy smile and leant forwards, enveloping me in his arms and holding me tightly.

"It doesn't matter. All that matters is that you're here right now. It's great to see you again little sis. You don't know just how much you've been missed."

And with that he turned and led me back into the warmth of his house. We sat together on his comfy sofa and talked about anything that crossed our minds. The past, present and future.

When he questioned why I'd come home on such short notice I looked down and swallowed back my tears. I wasn't going to cry and let Troy win. When I'd managed to control myself again I looked back up at him and simply told him that I'd needed to get away from my life down south and so I'd decided to take a little vacation back home. I didn't tell him about Troy. Of course, he knew about Troy , but no one other than Kelsi and I knew about his having cheated on me and I wasn't going to be the one to start the spreading of bad rumors about him, even if he did merit them.

Paul and I spent some more time catching up, carefully steering away from the subject of Troy and his band. I only hated Troy right then, but he was the vocals of the band. I wouldn't ever be able to listen to their music ever again. Not when it was him singing. That would trigger so many memories of him singing to me.

"Kevin, Jason, Chad, I'm sorry." I muttered out loud to myself without realizing before clamping a hand to my mouth. Paul eyed me suspiciously but let the subject drop. It must have been obvious that I didn't want to talk about it.

"You know, Laura will be happy that you've come home. She's missed you. I think she gave up hope of you ever coming back for good a year or so back, but she'll still want to see you before you jet off again to wherever it is that you're going next."

"I want to see her too. Talking to her on the phone is so different from talking to her face to face. I won't be going anywhere any time soon though. Or at least I don't think I will be. I need to see everyone first and figure where it is that I want to go next before I can repack and leave."

"You don't know where you're going?" Paul asked, I knew where this was going, "You? My little sister who always has everything planned down to the smallest most unimportant detail? You don't know where you're going next?" A smirk was quickly making its way across his lips.

"Some day, I'll let you in on what happened to me in Florida, and that day you'll see that I'm no longer the same little sister that I was when I left here. I changed a lot. Most of what I do now is simply on impulse."

Paul lifted a brow in disbelief. He didn't think that I'd changed that much since I'd left. And in some aspects, I hadn't. But in most of them, I had. I had left Albuquerque with a broken heart, had it mended for me, taught it to love properly again, and then had it broken again so that I could return home in the same condition that I'd left the place for.

I stood, stretched slightly and walked over to the closet, rummaging through it to find my jacket and waved good bye to my brother. I set back off to Laura's house, struggling to get my arms into my coat on the way. I pulled my hat back on my head before reaching out rapping my knuckles against the heavy wooden door for the third time that day.

And for the third time that day there was no answer. I sighed audibly and reached into my pocket, pulling out my phone and punching her number into it. I was going to find out where she was because I didn't really feel like returning to Paul's house right then. I needed a girl to talk with and tell everything to. But not just any girl would do, I needed someone that I trusted my life with.

After three rings there was a click and a couple of seconds later Laura's easily recognizable voice floated to my end of the line.

"Gabi! Hello, why are you ringing me?"

"Hello to you too, Laura. And I'm ringing you because I'm currently wondering where you are since you are obviously not at home."

"No, I'm not at home, but how would you know that."

"Well, you see, the thing is that I'm standing here right now, at a wooden door painted green thinking about where you are because I'm freezing my butt off outside!"

"Oh my God! You're at my house?"

"Yeah."

"You came home?"

"Yeah."

"I'll be home in five minutes!"

With that the phone cut and I chuckled lightly to myself. I couldn't wait to see my cousin again. I'd missed her more than I'd realized over my years away and I knew that it was time to stop that.

Just as I was about to slip my phone back into my pocket it started ringing again. I looked at the caller ID and it told me that it was Kelsi again.

I groaned. What did she want this time?


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Hey Kelsi." I said, my voice sounding tired and strained even to my own ears. I briefly wondered whether I really was that tired.

"He just left. He's in a bad mood. He thinks that something terrible has happened to you Gabi," she answered. Where did the formalities go? No small talk, straight to business. That was just like Kelsi. She found small talk boring and much preferred to talk about what she wanted to talk about. Her motto was 'why waste time talking about something you don't want to talk about? And who gives a damn about how you are anyway?'

"Well, he's right there!" I exclaimed. A wave of emotion crashed over me again and I clutched at my chest in hopes to ease at least some of the pain. It didn't actually work. I was pushing against my rib cage so hard that it actually began to hurt.

But he was in a bad mood? What was happening then? Was he crying? Had he even shed one tear for me? I somehow doubted it. I couldn't see him crying for me; after all, he had his new girlfriend now. He didn't need me. Were all of his actions just for show? Was he actually rejoicing that I'd left? All these questions were running through my head one after the other, I was having difficulties in keeping up with them.

"I know." She sighed, "I know, Gabi. But he looked so depressed. He almost didn't look like the brother I know and love. He's always so full of hope and energy but now that you've left he looks like someone's just told him that he's not allowed to strum another cord on a guitar for the rest of his life."

My lips almost twitched in the beginnings of a smile at her comparison. It was true that Troy was very dedicated to his music so I understood where she was coming from. They didn't quite make it into the smile though when I remembered what he'd done.

"I can't stand seeing him like this," she whispered so quietly that I almost didn't hear her. "I've honestly never seen him like this before. Even when his hamster died in 11th grade."

"Well, he can't say that he didn't bring it upon himself." My tone of voice was cold and bitter. Like me. I was trying to cover my heart in a layer of ice when it came to Troy. It was easier to protect myself if I had a heart of ice.

"You don't understand, Gabi!" she cried exasperatedly. "I think he might do something stupid. I don't want him to do anything suicidal. I know that you know that you're the reason he's acting like this and I know that you know that you're the only one who can get him to stop."

"Yes, I know that I know too. But does he know what he's doing to me?" I questioned. I already knew the answer to my question. He didn't know. He couldn't possibly understand how he'd shattered me into so many miniscule parts. I wasn't sure that I'd be able to pick them all up again and superglue the picture back into place.

"I don't know. I think that he just thinks that you've been kidnapped or murdered or something. He hasn't even contemplated the idea that you could have run away. Or at least, if he has he hasn't voiced it."

She paused, waiting for me to say something but I decided to keep my mouth shut. If I opened it I would probably just end up saying something that I would regret later on. Something along the lines of: "Well, that's what he deserves, isn't it?" If I said that, Kelsi would not be happy with me. There was already enough strain on our friendship; I didn't want to add anymore to it. I wasn't sure how I'd be able to stay friends with Kelsi while avoiding Troy, but I'd try my best. That much was given.

"Please, Gabi, can you at least call him and let him know that you're still alive and well?" I felt like she was asking me to do something very scary that I had no wish to do at all. Something like asking me to touch a large spider with my bare hands (not that I could touch any sort of spider with covered hands either). "I know he hurt you, but now he's hurting too. He's my brother and I don't want to watch him go through all this pain. I'm begging you, just let him know you aren't dead, for me?"

I sighed dejectedly. I really didn't want to do that. I ran away from Florida for the one reason that I wouldn't have to talk to Troy about it or give him a chance to sweet talk me into going back to him. I knew that if I gave him the chance to, I probably wouldn't be able to resist for very long. I expected that he knew that as well and he would use it to his advantage.

"I don't know, Kelsi." I answered truthfully, my voice sounding even more strained, "Maybe I will do it, but I need some time to myself first. I need to get my head back in order." I rubbed my forehead wearily. Agreeing to call Troy was like signing my death contract. I needed time to build up barriers first, enough to render him incapable of knocking down every single one of them.

"I understand," she answered, sounding as though a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. "I think he really does miss you. I know that he loves you. If he didn't, he wouldn't have stayed with you for three years or asked you to marry him."

I knew that she was trying to reassure me, but it wasn't working all that well. She never really knew how to soothe someone's feelings when they found themselves caught up in a sticky situation. In reality, all she was doing was confusing me even more. She claimed that he loved me. If he loved me, then why did he have her over in our house?

"He's genuinely worried about you," she added, almost as an after thought.

'Oh yeah, Kelsi. That's going to change my decision.' I thought bitterly, 'Tell me that he's worried about me and I'll go running back to him. Maybe someone else would, but not me. And you of all people should know that.'

"Alright, Kels. Give me at least a couple of days to get myself straightened out again and we'll see what happens."

"Fine," she said, sounding defeated. She knew that she could do no more now so she had no choice other than to wait and see what I would do. "But please ring him soon."

"I'll try. Don't tell him anything though and get him to check his post in a couple of days' time." I tried to say it as nonchalantly as I could, but it didn't work very well. My voice still cracked ever so slightly, and I knew that she would have picked up on that. After all, she would have been looking out for it.

"Why?" she asked suspiciously.

"You'll see then. Bye Kelsi."

I hung up with that, not waiting for her to say bye too as I'd heard the sound of footsteps coming up behind me. I couldn't put a name to the steps. I wasn't sure whether it was someone I wanted to talk to or not.

I tensed and refused to turn around and see who it was that had walked up on me. I almost forgot to breathe while waiting to discover whom it was coming up behind me.

"Gabi? Is that really you?" the voice belonging to the person whose feet had made the footstep sounds asked. I recognized the voice immediately. How could I have not recognized it? I'd spent the whole of my childhood and my years of being a teenager listening to this voice change over the years.

I spun around and wrapped my arms around the girl standing just behind me. She had her arms squeezing me too not a second later.

"It's me," I answered, "and it's so good to see you again! How have you been holding up?"

"Pretty well actually, I'll have to introduce you to some new people. You haven't been here for so long! Why didn't you come back sooner?" she questioned. She looked really happy to see me but really confused at the same time. In her place, I knew that I would have been confused too. Why would someone who just upped and left their childhood home three years before, not returning after their departure, suddenly appear in the place again? It didn't make sense.

I don't know. I should have come back more often."

"Yes, you should have!" she scolded, "but why are you here right now?"

"Something happened in Florida. I had to leave, so, my obvious choice of place to flee to was here. Where else would I have gone? Absolutely everyone lives here, and I don't have anyone else living in other places that I could fall back on. Or at least, I don't think I do." My features creased into a look of confusion and thought. I was trying to figure out whether I really did or didn't know anyone living somewhere other than Albuquerque.

"What happened? Was it Troy?" she demanded, pulling away from the hug and looking sternly into my eyes.

No one would have been able to tell that we were only cousins and not sisters; we were almost identical to each other, except for our eyes and our hair color. My eyes were a chocolate brown and my hair was brunette while her eyes were a forest green and her hair a strawberry blonde. We were even the same height and almost exactly the same weight! But she could also understand me better than anyone else on this Earth, with the exception of Paul. On the other hand, Paul was blind, so if he wasn't looking for something he wouldn't find it. That said, he only very rarely ever actually looked to find what was under the surface when it came to my problems. I guessed that he figured that if I wanted him to know, I'd let him know sooner or later. That was a good way to think because it allowed me to take my time in telling him the whole story.

"Yeah, it was Troy. I don't really want to talk about it yet." I answered, but after taking in the pointed look she shot me I decided to continue. "Let's just say that he did something to me that I'd never do to him."

"He cheated on you, didn't he?" she asked, her eyes wide and full of sorrow.

I took in a gasp of air. Exactly how did she know that? Well, the gasp had given it away, I'd seen it in her eyes, she'd figured out that it was him and she wouldn't give me very much peace until she knew the whole story.

"How come you can read me like a book?" I questioned with a slight laugh. It wasn't even a hoarse, forced laugh, it was a real chuckle. I knew that it didn't really touch my eyes, but I couldn't be bothered with it. The fact that a laugh had even escaped me was something to marvel at.

"Its all because of endless years of practice. Blame the parents for forcing us to spend almost every single day of our childhood together," she answered lightly, as though it were nothing new to her. In all reality, it wasn't. She'd always been able to pick up on the roots of my problems when no one else could.

She linked her arm through mine after unlocking the front door and led me into her house. It was exactly how I remembered it, with the exception of a couple of new things she'd obviously acquired. Even the furniture hadn't moved. The walls were still an off white, looking almost creamy in places; the enormous blue sofa we'd saved up for and bought together when I'd lived with her was still in the corner of the room, its back against the far wall. The television had been changed; she now had a mini home cinema by the looks of it. The coffee table was over flowing with female magazines as I remembered it had always been. A large painting of a seaside view she'd painted herself took the prided place above the electric fire. I'd always loved that painting; it was nice to be able to study it again.

We sat on the sofa for an hour or so, just talking about any old random thing, like most females are capable of doing, until we finally grew quiet no longer having very much to talk about. The room became silent for a full two minutes before Laura spoke again.

"Why did he cheat on you?" Laura asked, her voice barely more than a whisper.

"Honestly, I don't know. I can't really think of any reason why he would but obviously there are probably a few factors that escape me."

"You make it sound like it's been going on for a while. The last time I spoke to you on the phone you told me that everything was just peachy with you." She trailed off and looked intently at me, awaiting my response.

"I was in denial," I shrugged. "I didn't want to think about our relationship ending so I created this fantasy world where everything was still perfect that I could live in. Unfortunately, reality still broke into it from time to time and eventually I knew that it was time to just give up on it all. Then I caught him cheating on me and it just accelerated things. I think I was already well on my way to leaving him. Maybe I should have confronted him about it a while ago. In a way, maybe it's as much my fault as it is his…" I trailed off, wandering off into my thoughts.

I started to wonder just exactly how long Troy had been going behind my back with this "Viviane". It had definitely started after the proposal because before then he would spend all his time with me. That left no time for him to spend with her. My thoughts turned to the girl. A sudden thought popped up in my mind and I wondered if I was going to be physically sick. I really felt like I was going to regurgitate the biscuits I'd consumed at my brother's house.

Did he go to meet his natural needs with her after he stopped visiting me altogether?

My face must have clearly shown that my mind was a thousand miles away from my body because the next thing I knew, Laura's fingers were continuously snapping in front of my face and she was shouting my name. I shook my head furiously in a feeble attempt to rid it of these thoughts.

"Hello." I said upon fazing back in.

"What were you thinking about?" she asked, her voice only slightly betraying her well-hidden curiosity.

"Nothing in particular." A short silence followed my words before I decided to continue my sentence, "I think I need to go and see everyone," I stated while standing up, grabbing my jacket and flinging it on again.

Laura immediately knew what I meant and stood up with me. I fought a short battle with myself, wondering about whether or not I really was ready to face them all. I decided that I was and we both took to the street. It was colder now than it had been. The sun was beginning to set; the light fading and the many street lamps were just warming up. It would be night before long.

"Do they all still live in the same places?" I asked. I couldn't imagine any of them having moved, but I thought I'd ask just in case.

"Yeah, why would they move? I don't think any of them have moved at all for over twenty years. You know the tradition. Everyone stays here, in this pokey place. Only you broke the tradition."

"Yeah well, I needed to get away from here then. It's not like I was going to stay here after what happened."

"No, I know. Unlike some of them, I understand," she said, the happy smile on her face faltering slightly as she seemed to think of something else. "Some of them still blame you for breaking the tradition and moving away, you know? They hold it against you," she continued, her voice lowered to such a quiet tone that I actually had to strain my ears to hear everything she was saying.

I didn't have time to respond as it was at that exact moment that we arrived at a large green front door with a knocker in the shape of star, I'd never understood why they'd wanted a star shaped knocker, despite the many attempts to explain it to me. There was a reason for it somewhere though. Laura motioned for me to knock on it, so I reached out and took the brass star shaped handle of the knocker.

Not two seconds later, the door swung open and my aunt appeared in the doorway. She let out a squeal and engulfed me in a hug I wasn't entirely sure that I'd come back out of alive. She seemed to be pushing all the air out of my body and after about twenty seconds I had to remind her that oxygen was a necessity required if I wished to continue living.

Five minutes trickled past as family members showed up. Soon enough the room was full of them and I was bombarded with questions.

"How are you?"

"What have you been up to?"

"Why are you home?"

I caught up on all the news and gave out some of my own. The room was full to the brim with aunts, uncles, cousins, my cousins' spouses and children, even some close friends from school had managed to show up. I hadn't spoken to most of the people there since before I'd left.

I'd had the suspicion that some of them held it against me that I'd left. Laura had confirmed this, but none of them appeared to be holding any grudges. Maybe they were just happy that I was back. After all, I was the only one in the family to have left the town in a long time. Except for one other.

Of all my family members only my brothers were missing from the ranks. Jerry, the eldest of the four of us at 31, was uncontactable because he was working, clicking random buttons (or at least they seemed random to me) and cracking codes for the secret services (it was pretty cool having a brother who worked in the secret services, but it also 'endangered his life' according to his bosses). Oliver, being the second eldest at 28, was apparently out at a training day. Dan, the second youngest being only two years older than myself at 23, was doing whatever it was the he did in his free time.

Three and a half hours slipped by without my noticing before I was finally all hugged and kissed out. My throat felt raw from all the talking and I was starting to fall asleep on the leather, and, frankly, rather uncomfortable, sofa I was seated upon.

Upon noticing this, Laura excused the both of us and took me back outside. Being away from the stuffy atmosphere of my aunt's lounge, I felt my senses beginning to reawaken. The cold air helped as well. I amused myself by breathing out and watching my breath become smoky in the almost freezing temperatures.

We just walked around for a while, visiting all the old spots: our secret hideouts that, for the most part, didn't seem secret anymore (at least two of them held signs of recent use by kids who liked to get themselves high off their asses); our play areas from our early years, then our gang hangouts from our adolescence. I came to the conclusion that as adolescents, we used to enjoy being near trees. Almost all of our hangouts from then were either in trees or at the foot of trees we'd discovered were impossible to climb.

Everything that I saw brought back so many memories that seemed to be so fresh in my mind. I began to wonder why I'd even left Albuquerque for Florida. Then it all came back to me like a flood.

I remembered what had happened.

I remembered my life turning upside down.

I remembered mom.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

_Troy's lips brushed up against mine. I could feel his left hand running through my hair, stopping about half way, his fingers anchored themselves in it, gently pulling on it. I could feel him forcing me even closer to him. _

"_Brie," he murmured against my lips, his hand slipping from my hair to run down my back, stopping in the slight curve at the bottom before he pulled me into his lap, "How long has it been now?"_

"_Three years today, and you know that." I answered, my lips curving into a smile against his as I moved myself into a slightly more comfortable position. I knew that he knew and was just setting something up. I couldn't wait to find out what. _

"_Mmhmm, which means that we have to…" he started as my excitement grew, but he was cut off by the sound of his phone noisily intruding, catching both his and my attention. It had one of the recent hits on it as a ring tone. I couldn't tell which one it was, but then again, I never could. It started vibrating too, and slowly started making its way towards where it could fall onto the floor and shatter into many pieces…if I were lucky. _

_He sighed before he pulled away from me with one last suck and gentle nibble of my lower lip. Reaching out he grabbed the phone from where it sat on the bedside table and placed it against his ear. _

"_What?" he demanded. I knew that he wasn't pleased by the interruption. It was our three year anniversary and for over a month we'd been planning on spending the day doing nothing but what one can read in those cheesy romance novels, created purely for female pleasure. Personally, I wasn't keen on such books, but if I was given the opportunity to live such a 'lovey dovey' day, I wasn't going to turn it down. _

_I busied myself by planting small butterfly kisses on his bare shoulder blades and upper back. Being concentrated on covering him with kisses, I made myself completely deaf to the conversation Troy was having with whoever it was on the other end of the phone. _

_I felt him hang up and picked my head up just in time to see him turn around, his face looking crest-fallen and pissed off at the same time, if that were possible. He gathered me into his arms again and I let out a small giggle. The giggle soon stopped short though, as I realized that something hadn't gone to plan. My features quickly reverted back to serious as I stared into his eyes, waiting for him to drop the bomb. _

"_I can't stay." He said simply as I began to lower my head again. _

_My head snapped up again immediately, my eyes bearing into his. "What do you mean?" I questioned. He couldn't just leave, could he? Could his managers really call him in on such short notice? When he specifically said that he was taking the day off? Trust the managers to do something like that. _

"_They're calling me in to do some work on one of the tracks and then to attend an interview to help the publicity for the new single."_

"_Oh." I replied. I tried my hardest to hide my disappointment, but I didn't know whether or not I was doing a good job. I expected that Troy would have picked up on it; he was usually very good at knowing what I was feeling. I couldn't often hide my feelings from him, but that didn't mean that I didn't try. _

"_I'm so sorry, baby. If it was up to me I'd chop the heads of the people who dare ruin this day, but it's not up to me so I have to respect them. I have to go and play celebrity, and it's probable that I won't be home until really late."_

"_It doesn't matter," I soothed, or tried to. It didn't help that I was feeling slightly depressed at the idea that the day, our special day, was going to be cancelled. Who was I kidding? Slightly was an understatement. "We can always do it tomorrow." _

_The corners of his lips flickered slightly into a sad smile. He planted a lingering kiss on my lips that left me feeling all tingly. No words were needed. _

_He stood up and walked out of the room. I didn't move at all from my spot, kneeling on the blue cover of the duvet covering our bed. I heard the front door swing open and then click shut again. _

_I sighed over dramatically and scanned the room for my previously discarded shirt. I found it half under the bed and struggled back into it. I damned the shirt to hell; it was the trickiest thing ever to put on properly. Once it was over my head, I had about twenty clasps to clasp together in order for it to say in place. It was at that precise moment, while I was doing my shirt up, that I decided to wait up for Troy that evening. _

_And that's how I found myself forcing my eyes to reopen each time they shut at 2am that night, or should it be called the following morning? I didn't know when he would come back and I was beginning to despair. I wasn't going to be able to stay conscious for much longer. _

_A yawn escaped me for what felt like the millionth time, and I covered it with the back of my hand automatically. That was something that had been drilled into me as a child. Rubbing my right eye, I felt myself slowly losing yet more of the feeble amount of consciousness I had left. Everything turned black and I was almost asleep when a distinct click sounded, resonating in the room. _

_My eyelids flickered open after a moment or two, the time it took for my brain to understand what the clicking noise meant, to reveal Troy's bare back facing me. He was struggling out of his trousers and I had to suppress a girly giggle that, for some unknown reason, I felt the urge to emit. I wasn't one who could be heard giggling girlishly very often. I blamed it all on fatigue. _

_I decided to play with him and firmly closed my eyes. I felt the bed being rocked to the side as Troy climbed in next to me. One of his arms snaked across my bare chest (not that he'd known that it was bare prior to that) and his face nuzzled into my hair. Trust him to not be bothered about the nakedness of my chest._

_I just stayed like that for about five minutes, the both of us just lying in the darkness with the only sound being the constant noise of our breathing. I could tell that he was beginning to drift off to sleep, and I had to fight to stay awake myself. _

"_So, how did it go?" I questioned nonchalantly, biting my tongue to stop myself from giggling (more wanting to giggle) when Troy jumped. _

"_Oh, it was boring. I'd much rather have stayed here." He answered after he'd recomposed himself. I could feel his lips being pulled into a smile against my hair. _

"_Well, you're here now."_

"_Yes, I am."_

"_And so am I."_

"_Yes, you are."_

"_And we're here together."_

"_Yes, we are."_

"_And we're both awake."_

"_What are you getting at Miss Gabriella Montez?" he asked, and even in the dark I could make out a smirk playing on his lips as I rolled my head back to see him better. His puckered lips met my bare shoulder, causing my body to become significantly more awake. _

"_You know what I'm getting at." I responded, a smile breaking out on my own lips. _

"_No, I don't think I do. I think you'll have to tell me." _

"_Hmmm, would you like me to show you?"_

"_Even better!" he answered with a laugh. _

_I laughed too and rolled over so that my body was facing him. I reached out and brushed his face tenderly with my knuckles. _

"_I love you, Troy," I whispered, my eyes going slightly cross-eyed as I stared straight into his azure blue eyes before leaning forwards only to find myself momentarily stopped by Troy's arm. _

"_Not as much as I love you," he said simply before removing his arm and jumping straight into a deep kiss. _

_Troy collapsed on top of me before rolling to the side. I panted as I caught my breath again while staring up at the bare ceiling. I shuffled slightly, placing my head on his shoulder and flinging my arm over his sweaty chest. _

_Neither of us said anything as we waited to regain our breath. My legs wrapped themselves around one of his and I let out a contented sigh. Our day hadn't fully gone to waste after all. _

"_You see... we still managed to make the most out of our pretty shitty anniversary," I said. Troy chuckled and planted a kiss on the top of my head. _

"_Later on today, when we've woken up again, we're going to go out." He stated. I nodded my head in agreement, wanting to know where he was going to take me. I decided that I would concentrate more on that after rest though. He wouldn't have told me right then anyway. _

"_Come on lazy bones, wake up!"_

_Troy's voice drifted into my dreams and I groaned, rolling over and trying to hide my face in his chest. I was too tired to get up. I silently cursed late nights, cursed them all to Hell. _

_That didn't work because no sooner had I done that than he pulled away and got out of the bed, leaving me to take a face dive into the soft mattress._

_I groaned again and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. I had a splitting headache from my lack of decent sleep and I felt like my body was about to give up on me. I hated losing out on sleep; it made me quite the unpleasant person when I woke up afterwards._

"_Do I have to?" I croaked, my vocal cords proving themselves to also still be asleep._

"_Yes. We're going out, and if we don't leave soon it'll be too late for us to go."_

"_Alright, I'm up." I said, pushing myself into a sitting position. I stayed like that for almost a minute but then Troy made an impatient grunting noise at me, so I stretched before swinging my feet out of the bed and forcing myself to stand up and rummage for clothes I could wear. _

_I had no idea where we were going and so I had no idea what I was expected to wear either. I decided upon some half flared jeans and one of my normal hooded jumpers. You couldn't often go wrong with those, unless you were going to some big, posh do. But we didn't often go to those._

_As soon as I was dressed, Troy wasted no time in ushering me into the waiting car. It all happened too fast for my tired brain, that I don't actually remembering going from the bedroom to the car. _

_I must have dropped back off to sleep while he drove because the next thing I knew I was being gently shaken back awake. Obviously becoming impatient, I felt Troy lean over me and unbuckle my seatbelt before swinging me up into his arms. Troy never was the patient one. Not that I minded, I was quite content to be in his arms like that. _

_Mumbling some incoherent words, or perhaps it would be more appropriate to call them sounds, I snuggled into his warm chest. He sat down on the grassy ground, with me still in his arms, and I began to finally wake up again. I realized that it would probably work better if I was fully awake and made an effort to shrug the sleep off again. That was a lot for me. _

_I opened my eyes to find that we were on top of a hill, away from our home, and it was sunrise. Sunrise._

_I smiled to myself, remembering the time that I'd told Troy that sunrise was my favorite time of day and how I was disappointed that where we lived, it was next to impossible to see a nice one. That was one of the bad things about living in the middle of a city. It was one of the things that would pull me to live in the countryside somewhere, if I was given the choice. _

"_We're lucky, it's not cloudy and the weather's pretty good." He murmured in my ear before planting a small kiss on the tender skin behind it. I just sat in his lap contently, transfixed by the rising of the sun in front of me. It had been so long since I'd been able to watch a sunrise worth watching, one that made the sky a sea of different colors ranging from blue to pink and even to dark browns and blacks. I was mesmerized by the beauty of it all. It was a simple beauty, but one so much more beautiful than all those unnatural beauties than can be found everywhere in the present day societies._

"_Brie?" he whispered. I turned to look at him and noticed that he looked very stressed. He hadn't been stressed a few minutes before then. I cocked my head to one side, waiting for him to continue, "I have something important to ask you."_

_He was ringing his hands and I could have sworn that perspiration was breaking out on his brow. I nodded silently and watched with interest as he reached behind him, pulling something out of his back pocket. _

_Suddenly I knew what it was that he was about to do. _

"_I love you more than words can express and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. I want to grow old beside you; I want to have children and grandchildren with you. I want to share my life with you. And, what I'm supposed to be saying is that I can't imagine my life without you in it. Gabriella Montez, will you marry me?"_

_He flicked the box open at these words and the most beautiful ring I'd ever laid eyes on came into view. I momentarily lost my ability to speak and I could feel myself hyperventilating. I reached a hand up to my brow and made an unintelligible squeak._

"_Brie?" Troy asked sounding worried. I believed that he thought I was going to say no from the look on his face. It must have been quite a comical sight for any passer by though. _

_I locked eyes with him and forced myself to calm down significantly. I told myself to take deep breaths, get my voice box back under control. _

"_Yes, Troy. I love you too and I want to share everything with you. I want to become your wife. Yes, I will marry you!" I said, my eyes sparkling with unsuppressed emotion. _

_He grinned widely at me and leaned in, kissing me passionately while his fingers felt out my finger, gently pushing the breath-taking ring onto it. _

I groaned as I rolled out of the bed I'd fallen asleep in the night before. I found myself at Paul's house again. I had no recollection of how I'd ended up there but I didn't complain. The bed had been comfy and I'd had a good night's sleep. It was soft but not too soft and the pillows weren't too worn down. I was actually amazed that Paul had such a good quality bed in his guest room. It wasn't what I expected of him.

I suddenly froze as I remembered my dream, or my memory rather. It plagued my thoughts as I tried to shake it back out of them.

I'd had that dream, memory, for two weeks straight when Troy had started to drift away from me and I was more than happy enough to say goodbye to it when it had decided to leave me alone again. Obviously my brain had wanted to remind me of something important, and to do so it had projected that memory into my slumbering head so I couldn't force it away again. Trust my brain to take advantage of a subconscious me. That was the sort of thing my brain liked to do, project images into my head of bitter memories. Some of these memories were sweet at the time they were made and became rotten afterwards, others were bitter from the start.

I remembered the time before I moved away from Albuquerque. The time when I thought I'd been on the brink of a nervous breakdown…all the memories that would flood my dreams. I couldn't get any peace at night at that time. In the end, I'd slept as little as I could, sometimes going for three or four days on end without letting my body rest. I lived off of caffeine tablets and lost a lot of weight during that horrible time in my life.

I had to reach up and wipe the tears that had been forming in the corners of my eyes away. I didn't want to cry again. My eyes didn't seem to want to listen to me though as they kept continuously creating more tears for me to insistently wipe away. The tears were a mix; some were for Troy, some were for my past. I didn't want them, but I couldn't will them away either. I wasn't always as strong as I liked to think I was.

Suddenly something caught my cheek and I was reminded of a job that I'd forgotten to do.

I looked down at the ring he'd given me that morning up on the hill at sunrise: white gold with three sparkling diamonds on top, perfectly elegant. It must have cost Troy a pretty penny. More than he'd be willing to lose.

It was just hanging from my finger, hooked on there looking pretty. There was nothing keeping it there anymore and I knew that its buyer would want it back. I no longer held any rights to it.

I slipped it off and placed it in an earring box I'd brought with me. I hoped it would be secure there. Walking downstairs, I grabbed a pen and paper from the counter top. Paul wasn't up so I didn't have to worry about him.

I sat, pen poised and ready to scribble the words out, for about ten minutes before I realized that I couldn't really think of anyway that I wanted to put my thoughts into words. In the end, I decided upon something simple that explained my thoughts quite well. Or at least, that's what I thought.

**Troy, I'm sending the ring back to you. I know that you'll want it back, and I know that it's worth more than I am. So, here it is. It was supposed to be a bond to bring us closer together, but it obviously didn't do its job very well. Since you gave it to me, all that ring seems to have done is sit on my finger, looking pretty, while pushing us apart. Now, not only are we apart in distance, but also in heart. I don't really understand what went wrong, or when, but something happened. I think you know so I won't elaborate. I'm far away now, safe somewhere else. I've finally understood that I need to move on with my life and stop living in the past. I'm sorry that this happened but we've been heading towards it for a while now. I wish more than you could possibly imagine that it hadn't happened. But it did, and now, no matter how much I love you, I know that it won't bring you back. There's no way to turn back the clock and undo what was done. Gabriella**

I placed the letter into the box with the ring and walked the short distance to the post office. A path I'd taken many times during my time living in Albuquerque. I put them into an envelope and just stood looking at them for a short while.

Shaking my head, I told myself to stop being silly and just post the damn thing already. And so, that is what I did. I hoped that finally ridding myself of this last physical link to him, I would finally be able to properly pull myself back together and move on with my life again.

Tears glistened in my eyes as the envelope disappeared from view.

'So,' I thought, 'that's it. It's all over for good now.' Funny how that thought didn't make me feel any better.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Once I'd posted the letter, I wasn't entirely sure what I wanted to do next. I'd reached a point of indecision. I wasn't ready to go back to Paul's house and it was still too early to barge into Laura's. She'd kill me if I walked in there any time before 11am at the earliest. I had no doubts that she'd be asleep until much later than that though.

The night before, Paul had asked about what had happened back in Florida. He knew that it had to have been something extremely important for it to have made me leave on such short notice. I could put up with most things, just take them in my stride and carry on. If I'd left, then obviously, what had pushed me into leaving was something big for me.

I'd cringed and told him that I wasn't ready to talk about it just then. He'd understood that I didn't want to let him know and had just dropped the subject. I was thankful for him not having tried to push me into telling him. I wouldn't have, no matter how hard he'd pushed and, during the 21 years that he'd known me, I guessed that he'd learnt and understood that. My other brothers had too. I was grateful that he respected me enough to allow me to make my own choices and decide when I was ready to tell him.

I walked aimlessly down the street, not really paying attention to where I was going. I knew the part of town I was in like the back of my hand, so it was next to impossible for me to get lost there. There were, of course, some new buildings that I didn't recognize but I could still picture what had been there before in my head. They weren't enough to throw me off.

After about half an hour I brought myself back out of my memories of my childhood only to find myself in one of the places I'd spent most of my time.

I was at the recreation grounds.

They hadn't changed all that much. The swings were newer and the bumpy slide had been taken away (I wasn't surprised about this as it hadn't been in good condition when I'd left town). I walked over to the swings and sat down on one, gently rocking myself backwards and forwards. This was a comfort movement my body had been subjected to many times in the past.

I remembered when Jerry used to take me to the park every day when he got home from school. I'd run around like the little mad thing that I was: swinging backwards and forwards on the little wooden motorbike, rushing up the steps to slide down the slide, clambering over the lower monkey bars. Then, when I got tired, Jerry would sit me on a swing and push me. I'd scream at him to always push higher. If I were lucky, he'd carry me home in his arms. I'd wrap my little arms around his neck and snuggle into him, always ready to sleep and his warmth aiding me in drifting off into the land of nod.

Then Jerry had grown up and decided that he didn't want to be seen with his little sister, he was 'too cool' for me and I was 'too childish', so Oliver took his place and after the same thing had happened with him I was passed down to the youngest of the three of them. The only difference was that Paul never got tired of me. We spent almost all of our time together and we would hang out together at school, this was quite easy really as I was only the year below him. He would protect me when I needed his protection, stick up for me against bullies and if need be, would run off and get one of the other two to help with the situation. He wasn't just my big brother; he was also my best friend.

I stared off into space, still rocking back and forth, smiling slightly to myself, these happy moments of my childhood floating in front of my eyes.

I was content to stay in my mind with my memories until one of Troy popped up. He'd only been to the park once when we'd been to Albuquerque for a visit and to pick up some more of my stuff that I'd left behind. With some of our spare time we'd visited the park and spent a while spinning in rapid circles on the roundabout until I'd started to feel ill. Then we'd stopped and Troy had gathered me into his arms, pulling me onto his lap as he claimed a swing. I could never remember just how long we'd spent on that swing, but it had been long enough because by the time we'd returned to Paul's house it had been pitch black outside. We hadn't done anything other than just swing back and forth during that time but it had been more than enough to leave me up on cloud nine.

All of a sudden, I became conscious of the presence of another person next to me. It was a girl about my own age with medium length straight dark brown hair kept under a hat much like my own.

She turned her head towards me and grinned when she realized that I was finally tuned into her being there next to me. Her brown eyes twinkled and some of her top teeth broke into view from behind her lips.

"Glad to see that you're back with the rest of us in the world of the living," she joked.

"Yeah, I was just thinking, you know?"

"I know. Anyways, I suppose 'hi' would be a good start."

"It would, so hello."

"I'm Taylor," she introduced herself, holding out a hand towards me.

"Gabriella, but you can call me Gabi," I answered, taking her hand and shaking it.

"I don't think I recognize you. Are you not from around here?" she questioned.

I laughed out loud, unable to stifle my full out laughter. Not from Albuquerque, that was a laugh. I'd only lived almost my whole life there.

"I only lived here for eighteen years."

"Oh," she replied sounding rather embarrassed, "I suppose that makes me the new one here then!"

"I haven't lived here for three years, but I've spent most of my life here, all of my pre-school and school years. I left shortly after my eighteenth birthday."

"I only moved here about a year ago, a little less maybe. I didn't think I'd seen your face around before. But you do remind me of someone."

"Yeah, you might be thinking of my cousin. We look almost exactly alike."

"Maybe that's it. I'm sure I've seen your face somewhere else though," she said, squinting her eyes slightly at me as if she were trying to place my face with the other version of it she'd seen. I could only hope that she hadn't read one of those magazines that had managed to catch me in a photo at Troy's side.

"I think I've heard of you," she said, frowning almost imperceptibly. "Your name rings a bell. Gabi. Aren't you the one who moved away to Florida?"

"Yeah," I answered, my whole body tensing up at her words, wary of her now. I didn't really want to talk about my life in Florida. Unfortunately, as my name wasn't exactly usual, I found that, often enough, people had heard it before if they were that interested in Troy and his band.

"Is it nice there?" she asked innocently. Somehow, I doubted that she was a devoted fan and allowed myself to relax a little.

"Really nice. I loved it there."

"If you loved it there, how come you left?"

It was a logical question, one that I would have asked myself. I didn't feel inclined to go into details with a complete stranger so I used the story I'd been using since I got there. It was the truth, just not very well explained.

"I just needed to get away from my life there, and what place is better to go to than home when you're feeling lost and unsure about your life?" I asked rhetorically with an off-handed laugh.

"I know what you mean. I miss home a lot, but I have to make a new life for myself here now. I can't go home just yet. The memories are all still too fresh. I'm just beginning to feel actually settled here too."

I'd forgotten that she'd said that she came from somewhere else. I hadn't given a second thought to it at the time.

"Where are you from?" I asked.

"Oh, you know, I was born in Washington but I lived most of my life in LA. There's a bit of a difference between life there and life here."

"I can imagine. It took me ages to get used to my life in Florida. And then I had a bit of peace and quiet in my life again before one little thing set it all off and I had to up and leave."

"It was a guy, wasn't it?" she asked. I turned to look at her in astonishment, my eyes wide and unbelieving. It scared me that she could tell that, I felt like an open book, there for anyone and everyone to take a peak at.

"How did you know that?" I asked, my voice so quiet that it was almost impossible to hear it if one wasn't trying to.

"The far away look on your face was the big give away. I've been through it myself as well. That's why I had to leave LA. All because of a guy…" She trailed off and it was her turn to get the far away look on her face.

It turned out that our love lives didn't seem to be all that different. We'd both been hurt by males. That was one of the reasons why I first left Albuquerque and she left LA. I started wondering if some guy here was going to hurt her again and force her to leave this peaceful place in favor of driving all the way back to LA.

That would have been odd and slightly scary.

I needed to be getting on the move again, but I was starting to warm up to this girl, her past was something that hurt her, just like how mine hurt me. I decided to go for proposing a longer relationship with her than the half hour we'd shared in the park.

"Hey, listen. I'd better get back to my brother's house now, but if you give me your number I'll ring you some time and we can go and hang out or whatever." I offered.

She broke into yet another smile and nodded her agreement. I rummaged in my pocket to find a piece of scrap paper and a pen. When I eventually found them I passed them to her and she scribbled down the digits.

With that we both said goodbye before heading off in different directions. I walked back to Paul's house to find him out and no note. I let myself in using the spare key he'd given me and dropped down on the sofa in front of the TV, switching it on to the cartoon channel.

About two hours of watching pointless cartoons later, I was bored out of my skull and I decided that I needed to go over to Laura's so that I could have some more girly time with her. I was craving girly time like I'd never craved it before, and this feeling was beginning to annoy me, especially since I wasn't the typical girly girl to begin with. Its amazing what emotional pain will do to us all.

Locking the door behind me, I let myself drift into the road, almost get run over by a lone car (I could have sworn that there was no car there when I'd started to cross) and flounce up the pathway to Laura's house. Raising my fist, I knocked repeatedly for two minutes straight until the door swung open. This was not normal for me.

Laura lifted a hand and ran it through her disheveled brown locks. Her eyes were still half shut and her pajamas were hanging loosely from her body. The only thought that ran through my head when she swam into view was that she was lucky it had been me at the door and not someone else…like some door-to-door salesman. They'd have been scarred for life upon witnessing such a scene.

"What are you doing here at this time?" she groaned, rubbing her face with the top of her palm in an attempt to wake herself up a bit more. Futile, but everyone does the same thing.

"Oh, I don't know, it could be that it's only one in the afternoon and I'm bored. Paul's out and I've been up since the crack of dawn. I want to do something fun now."

"You've been up since the crack of dawn?" she asked, raising a delicately plucked eyebrow in disbelief. "You're never up before the middle of the morning at least."

"Today was different. I had a dream which woke me up then I went to post the ring back to Troy."

I'd told her about my wanting to send the ring back to its buyer, I wasn't sure whether or not she'd actually believed that I could send it though. And I wasn't sure just how much of what I was saying she was actually processing. From the far away look on her face, it didn't seem like much of it.

"Ok, ok, give me a couple of minutes to get dressed and try to make myself look as though I've been awake more than a grand total of four minutes."

I laughed at her before ushering her back into the house. We parted ways, her towards her bedroom and me to the kitchen. I was famished and hadn't thought to dig into some tasty something while still in the house on the other side of the road.

I raided the cupboards but soon discovered that my cousin didn't have very much of interest to eat in her possession. I sighed. That meant that I would have to buy something from some shop or another.

"I'm ready now. We can go."

The high voice broke through my thoughts of where we could go to eat. I turned to see Laura kitted in jeans rolled up just slightly enough to be sure that any on-lookers would be able to see the fishnet tights she was wearing underneath. Of course, she had to show off the fishnet tights, what would have been the point in wearing them otherwise? On her top half she was wearing a hoodie much like my own. We'd discovered long ago that if one wore several layers underneath one's hoodie then it created warmth enough to venture outside in only that, discarding a heavy coat.

"Right then, off we go." I answered simply.

Hours later Laura and I collapsed onto Paul's sofa in a fit of giggles. Somewhere along the way we'd managed to get ourselves into odd moods. Personally, I blamed all the coffee we'd consumed not long before, but I knew that it had something to do with winding down again as well. Coffee was a better scapegoat though as when I had too much caffeine in my system I became very nervous but also very, very hyper.

Through my giggles and the shaking of my body I felt the vibration of my cell phone (I'd taken the ring tone off by this time since I couldn't find another one that I wanted to use).

The vibrating didn't stop, and like for all other females, it was impossible for me to not take my phone out to see who was calling. That moment made me wonder just why I couldn't resist when I knew for a fact that it could only have been someone who I didn't want to talk to.

I moved my body into an uncomfortable arch on the couch as I tried to remove my phone from my pocket. I eventually managed this, drawing it out, and I took a glance at the caller ID.

My heart shot from my chest into my throat as I read the name 'Kevin' flashing across the screen. I was brought back down to Earth with a bump and my giggles immediately died out. Laura clicked on amazingly quickly and shut up too as I stared blankly at the screen. I was staring at it, but not seeing it. I was lost in my thoughts.

I didn't want to talk to Kevin. He held a secret weapon against me and I didn't want to give him the chance to use it. He could squeeze information out of me more easily than it is for a dog to run faster than a man. He was the only person I knew who was capable of getting the information he wanted from me by using only his voice. If Troy ever wanted to know something we had to be face to face so that he could use his eyes. I couldn't lie to the eyes, and he'd soon figured this out, using them to his advantage.

I spent a couple of seconds wondering what to do before I made a quick decision. I pushed the cancel button and put him through to voice mail. I took my phone through to my room and shut the door behind me. That way I wouldn't know if he tried to phone me again.

I didn't know whether he was phoning me because he wanted to know where I was and why I'd left or because Troy wanted him to find out and report back to him. Kevin was Troy's older brother and he was usually out to protect his little brother. He was more protective of Kelsi, all her boyfriends had to pass 'the test' (as we'd so inventively called it). I didn't know whether or not I'd been submitted to a test. I hadn't been conscious of taking one but we got along very well. He was one of my best friends, after all.

He was another of those best friends of mine that I was upset to have to leave behind. But, again, if I spoke to him I couldn't be certain that it wouldn't go back to Troy. I decided that it was safer to remain quiet with Kelsi as the only one who knew where I was.

Walking back into the main living area, I picked my head up and offered Laura a weak smile. She seemed to understand without my having to explain to her and she nodded.

"Gabi, who knows that you're here?" she questioned quietly.

"You, Paul and, oh just the rest of the family." I answered sarcastically, purposely giving the answer I knew that she didn't want.

"You know what I mean, Gabi." She sighed exasperatedly. "Let me rephrase the question: Who in Florida knows that you're here?"

"Kelsi." I sighed giving in to her, she'd have found out at some point anyway. Why not just make that point earlier?

"Kelsi? That's it? None of the others know?"

"No, just Kelsi."

There was a short silence that spread between us. I could tell that Laura had something that she wanted to say but didn't dare to. With the temper I could have when the wrong question was asked, I wasn't surprised that she didn't dare tempt the fates, especially when I wasn't in the best of moods to begin with.

"Where's the nearest club?" I asked suddenly. I needed to go out and let loose.

"About half an hour away."

"Go and get ready. I'll pick you up in about forty five minutes."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Laura nodded her accord and left the house, the clicking of the door signaling her departure. I jumped up from my slumped position on the sofa and stretched. I was so tense, unbelievably so! I didn't want to be tense anymore. I wanted to be able to forget everything for a short while at least. And the best way I knew of doing this was going to a club and indulging in a little flirting…innocent flirting of course. I didn't think I was ready to do anything other than that.

Struggling upstairs on my tired limbs, I clattered into the bathroom, accidentally knocked over a bottle of shampoo or two while turning the water on, stripped off and stepped into the hot jet causing droplets to spray all over the glass of the cubicle. I simply stood there for a while, just letting the water run over me and re-hydrate my skin. It was a perfect time for me to let my brain off its leash and give it the possibility to roam free. It wasn't allowed such outings very often, but I felt comfortable freeing it for a short while that evening.

It thought about all sorts of things that it wouldn't have normally been able to with the restrictions I imposed on it. I fantasized about an alternative reality in which Troy had never strayed from me, one where we were still happily together and in love. I was just lying in his arms and he was holding me to him, something that wasn't hard to imagine. If I thought hard enough, I could still feel his arms wrapped around me, keeping me safe from the world.

I missed him ever so much, but if anyone asked I wouldn't have admitted it freely.

"Shit!" I cursed as I opened my eyes to a stinging sensation. The shampoo I'd been massaging into the hair pressed up against my scalp had somehow managed to make its way into my eyes. I knew that they would go blood shot now. That wasn't really something I wanted. But at least the club would be dark. No one would be able to see my blood shot eyes unless they'd been eating more than their fair share of carrots.

After drying myself off, I decided that I wanted to go for the more chic appearance. I pulled on a very short dark blue skirt over black fishnet tights, pulling out my 4-inch heels and slipping them on. To that I added a thin, low-necked strap top under a V-necked black jumper.

I tried out several styles on my hair. Did I want it in a bun? A half ponytail? Let down? In a clip? Oh the choices! In the end I chose a style consisting of my hair being pulled back into a half bun with strands stylishly hanging loose.

Once the trauma of choosing a hairstyle was over, it was time to move onto the even bigger trauma of choosing what make-up to wear.

I decided to use my day-in-day-out style just touched up a little bit. I pulled out the eyelash curlers before turning to the mascara, only applying ten layers of it (if I wanted to get male attention, it was a good idea to emphasize my eyes); the liner pencil was swept around my eye, the lower border ending up a lot thicker than it usually was; a roll on white eye shadow came out next, leaving little glitter particles sparkling in the half light of my room. I didn't bother with lipstick or gloss; I wasn't trying to put any emphasis on my lips so why waste good lipstick?

I pulled on a heavy camel skin coat that I hadn't worn in the three years that I hadn't been home and headed out of the door, locking it behind me. Paul wasn't home and I had no idea as to when he would be getting back, which meant that locking the door would be easier. I walked over to my car and slid into the driver's seat only to jump back out of it again and into the passenger side seat, squealing. I'd just sat on something squishy!

Concentrating hard on adjusting my eyes to the darkness surrounding me (the idea of turning on one of the lights inside the car didn't come to me) I finally managed to make out the shape of my scarf. I sighed and picked it up, only to have a framed picture I hadn't even known that I'd brought with me drop out of it.

This time around I thought to turn on a light as I picked up the picture frame and turned it over.

I gasped as I dropped it back onto the seat again. It held a picture of Troy and me. We were sitting on a beach. It had been taken in the middle of a hot summer and I was only wearing my bikini, Troy only his trunks and I was in-between Troy's legs. His arms were encircling me and his head was leaning on my shoulder, a wide smile gracing both his and my lips.

I felt tears threatening to escape my eyes and quickly hid the picture in my side pocket while blinking the extra water out of my eyes. I didn't want to ruin the make-up I'd slaved over by crying. I wanted to be able to forget. And that evening on the dance floor, that was exactly what I planned on doing. I was going to forget that Troy even existed.

I honked my horn a couple of times and waited impatiently for Laura to appear from her front door. When she did, she quickly ran through the cold air and jumped into my even colder car, shivering.

"My God Gabi, doesn't your car have heating or is it older than heating or something?" she complained, rubbing her hands together in a desperate, and futile, attempt to warm herself up again.

"It does have heating!" I cried indignantly. So maybe it took a while for the system to kick in, but it was still there, and it would still make the car nice and toasty before we got to the club. I was happy with my heating, and there she was, complaining about it! I lifted my nose into the air and looked down it at her, slightly offended.

"Yeah, whatever you say," she replied, sounding very disbelieving, causing me to huff again. "But, anyway, Sharpay asked if she could tag along too. And she mentioned something about bringing a friend along."

"Sure. Give me the directions and we'll go and pick them up." I answered shrugging my shoulders. The more the merrier, right? After all, what harm could one more cousin and a person I had yet to meet do? I obviously under estimated them.

"She lives on the next block down. I told her to wait for us outside."

I laughed at the thought of my cousin, perfectionist Sharpay, waiting outside in the freezing cold weather and quickly sped off in the indicated direction.

Sure enough, when I rounded the last corner and arrived on Sharpay's street, she was standing shivering in her driveway along with another female. They both had their arms wrapped around themselves, attempting to keep their body heat inside their body. It was obvious that neither of them was wearing all that much and they were glad of the car to climb in to. Its heat might not have been great, but it was better than the cold outside.

"Hey Shar." I greeted. I'd seen her the day before, but not for very long. We got along pretty well, not as well as Laura and I did, but there was still an unbreakable bond between us. She was younger than me too, which could help to explain why we weren't as close. We'd never been to school together in the same class, and that had helped my relationship with Laura a lot.

"Hey guys, meet Martha."

I turned to the other girl in my back seat and nodded hello to her before turning back to the road and pressing down hard on the gas pedal. Laura reached out and turned on my radio, effectively cutting off any further conversation. Not that I minded, I was more than happy enough to sing along to my favorite CD at the top of my lungs.

Forty minutes later, we were pulling into Macumba's car park. It was still early and so the car park was relatively empty. That meant that I was able to swing the car into a space almost next to the massive entrance doors. They were so big that they seemed to be big enough to fit at least two of me height-wise in them easily.

Enormous sparkling letters were lit up above us, leaving no doubt that we were about to enter Macumba. I couldn't understand why I'd never visited this place before then, though it did look rather new so it might not have been more than foundation plans when I'd left town.

The inside was just as classy as the outside had suggested that it would be. Only a small number of others were already inside the building and next to none of them were populating the dance floor. They were all just sitting around, waiting for more to arrive so that there would be more sweaty bodies to bang into while dancing.

I turned to Laura and asked her if she wanted to go get a drink before we hit the floor. She nodded her agreement and we set off in the direction of the bar. I was thinking about what exactly it was that I wanted to drink in the moments before we got there. I decided that I wasn't actually thirsty; I just wanted to calm down a bit from my tension.

I'd been tense all that night, I was supposed to be letting loose, but I couldn't do that if I was as tense as I was at that moment. I only knew one way of releasing all my pent up tension that didn't include long sessions of one thing or another.

"Whisky. Laphroaig if you have it." I ordered as I got to the bar. A young woman nodded to show that she'd understood my order over the music and moved off to get it.

"You're having a whisky right now?" Laura asked in shock. "Does that mean that I'll have to be the designated driver?"

"Yeah please. I promise that I'll go slow after this, I just need something full of alcohol to start me off."

"What's wrong with plain old vodka?"

"Oh, you know Laura, I like to be different. How many others do you know who take a whisky as their first drink of the night?"

"Not all that many." She answered truthfully.

I smirked at her, took my whisky that the woman had just placed in front of me, paid up and downed it in one quick swig. I immediately felt the slight burning at the back of my throat as the alcohol stung it on its way down to my stomach. It was a feeling that I relished. It only lasted a second, but long after I could still recall it.

"Perfect." I mumbled under my breath before getting up and setting off on a beeline for the dance floor. I was now officially ready to start dancing.

Laura soon joined me, and then Sharpay and Martha completed our group. It was simple innocent dancing that we were doing to begin with. Slowly the dance floor started to fill up and soon we found ourselves being squeezed between countless others.

I was wondering how much oxygen they had coming into the club and whether or not it would last the whole night or if it would run out at some point, leaving us to become oxygen deprived. It had happened to me once before, and I wasn't ready to relive the experience. I guessed that a large club such as the one we were in would have a good ventilation system though. That thought was reassuring and so I clung on to it, telling myself to not let my over active imagination get the best of me.

Suddenly I accidentally jostled into someone behind me and spun around to find a rather cute looking male staring hard at the floor. Rather cute was an understatement. This guy looked like he would be drop dead gorgeous if only he'd look up.

For a fleeting moment I thought that I recognized him, but with his head down like that I couldn't quite make out his features and so I wasn't sure.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I quickly apologized, "My bad."

"No, no, don't worry." He answered. His voice was deep and rumbled as he spoke.

Now, I knew that I recognized the voice and that set off all the clogs in my brain, twirling and whirling as they tried to figure out who this man was.

Then he picked his head up and it all clicked into place.

"Oh shit." I swore under my breath, hoping that he hadn't heard me. God obviously wasn't on my side right at that moment though.

"I see that you're happy to see me again, Gabi." He said, his lips pulling up into a smirk I was very familiar with.

There was no doubting it. For some unknown reason, this cruel world had it in for me right at that point in time. Troy and then this, what more could it come up with?

I immediately took that thought back, knowing that it would jinx me. It always worked like that. Why oh why hadn't I stopped to think before wondering?

"Oh yeah, I'm so happy that it's almost impossible for me to retain my excitement. See me trying to not squeal with excitement?" I drawled sarcastically.

"Oh, you know you're happy really." He answered, the ghost of a real smile playing on his lips, behind his smirk.

"I'm just as happy as I would be if I found a demolition notice on my front door."

"Extremely happy then."

"Whatever, I don't have the patience to deal with you right now. Please just go away and leave me alone."

"And what if I don't want to?"

"Look, when I left you said goodbye and then immediately went and hooked up with the first whore you came across. Don't think I don't know about it. I didn't leave everything behind, I still had contacts here, hell, I had my whole family here still! And they filled me in on your little adventures. It sounds like you had fun once I'd left."

"I can just feel the love radiating from you. The warmth of your heart chills me to the bone." It was his turn to speak with sarcasm lacing his voice.

"Good for you!"

I was about to turn around and storm off when he grabbed my arm, forcing me to stay where I was. I guessed that he still knew how to predict my movements. I looked down at his death grip and then back up at him.

"What exactly do you want from me, Liam?" I asked exasperatedly.

"I want you to go over to the bar with me, let me buy you a drink and explain everything that happened." He replied calmly as though this was something that he did every day.

He hadn't seen me in three years. He'd managed to live that long without explaining everything that happened to me. Why was it so crucial that he do that now? I was very happy not knowing. I didn't need to know, not really.

"Fine." I answered huffily, knowing that I wouldn't be able to get out of this any other way. I let him drag me over to the bar, weaving his way through the masses of bodies, and buy me a beer.

An hour, five beers and two vodka shots later, Liam had finished his story, telling me about how he had thought it was only a game when I'd told him that I would be leaving, and that he had consequently replied negatively to my plea for him to go to Florida with me. He'd thought that it was just a phase that I was going through and that I'd never really leave Albuquerque.

When I'd actually packed up my bags and left, he'd been in disbelief and shock. He'd kicked himself for ever saying no to me and found the relief that he needed in the first whore that he'd come across. That sounded very guy-like, didn't it? So much so, that I could believe it.

I wasn't sure how I was feeling towards him, I still felt angry and betrayed, but I also felt a new compassion of sorts for him.

I bade him farewell once he'd finished his story. He seemed reluctant to let me leave again, but didn't try to stop me. He probably figured that he'd explained everything to me now, and that was another load off his chest. I had no idea why he'd chosen to do it while progressively getting me drunk. That would just make it harder for me to remember in the morning when I woke up sober again.

I somehow managed to get to my feet and found Laura again. It didn't take her two seconds to see just how drunk I was. Tutting at me she pulled me back onto the dance floor to find the other two girls and get them to leave with us. There was no way in hell she'd have let me stick around while in an intoxicated state.

My head was swimming and focusing on small random things, such as the amazingly large number of females who had a ring through their belly button. I didn't understand their need to have such a thing shoved through their stomachs. I wouldn't have ever allowed someone to stick a bar of metal through my belly button, not even for a million dollars. I was very happy with my belly button the way it was, and I didn't want to have to live with the consequences afterwards too.

Suddenly I found myself spinning back to Earth when I recognized Troy's voice talking to me. I spun around in every direction trying to figure out where he was, and what he was saying to me. I couldn't pick out all of the words or where the sound of his voice was coming from and it was annoying me.

Then I stopped dead as I realized just where exactly his voice was coming from and understood why it seemed to surround me.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Troy's POV

How long had she been gone for now? I couldn't remember anymore, no matter how much I strained my memory. I was losing myself inside my head, where no one else could reach me. Each day seemed to just bleed into the next. I could only imagine the worst. I kept seeing her dead in a ditch somewhere, or being tortured in some dark room whilst blindfolded after having been kidnapped. The worst scenarios constantly flickered before my eyes. And who was to blame for all of this?

I blamed many people. Sometimes I blamed myself, sometimes I blamed Kevin, sometimes I blamed the other guys, sometimes I blamed Kelsi, and, on the rare occasion, I blamed Brie herself for going out and letting some sort of catastrophe happen to her. Deep down I knew that I'd had something to do it. I had a pretty clear idea what may have caused it too. I also knew that she was still alive; something would have told me that she was dead if that were the case.

I kept imagining one particular scenario. It consisted of Brie walking down a path in a park somewhere. She was holding her coat pulled tightly around her and it was dark, the only source of light being the warm glows coming from the occasional street lamp dotted along the path. Tears were streaming down her face. She was so upset and so alone! Then, all at once, a man jumped out of the dark shadows and hit her on the head with a large, heavy branch. Her body folded over on itself as she came into contact with the ground.

I tried and I tried and I tried to keep that vision from coming back to me, but it seemed the harder I tried, the more it insisted on coming back. I wasn't sure how much longer my mental health could keep going as almost stable as it was when my eyes were being forced to watch such a thing so often.

I was slowly going out of my mind. Her absence from my life was sending me off my rocker, as to say. I was confused and at a total loss.

I felt the need to go and see Kelsi again; I kept going to see her. I held on to the hope that Brie would get in touch with her and let her know where she was so that I could go and chase her and bring her back to be by my side. Apparently, Kelsi hadn't heard anything though because each and every time that I went over to her house, she said the same thing: "If she'd called I'd let you know. You're my brother and she's my best friend. I want to help you out."

Somehow I got the feeling that maybe she was lying. Maybe she knew where the love of my life was hiding...or then again, maybe she didn't. Maybe she was telling the truth and she really didn't know where Brie happened to be.

I just wanted to curl up into a ball and wait for her to return and uncurl me. Except, I knew that she wouldn't come back if I didn't go after her. It was all up to me. I was the one who held everything in my hands; if I played just one wrong card everything could possibly be over.

"No!" I thought to myself, shaking my head. I forced myself off the sofa and walked the short distance to Kelsi's house. I got a feeling of déjà vu when I rang the doorbell and my mind drifted back to one of my earlier visits to see her.

I could hear her voice coming from the other side of the door and, for a moment at least, my heart dared jump into my throat. Could Brie possibly be in there with my sister?

But then I pushed lightly on the worn oak with the palm of my hand and the door creaked open slightly and I saw that Kelsi was only using the phone. Yet, my spirits still stayed unnaturally high, who was the person on the other end of the line?

Kelsi's face looked slightly startled at the sight of me but she opened the door wider and let me in.

"Troy, what are you doing over here?" she asked in a slightly raised voice. I knew that whoever it was that happened to be on the other end of the line would have heard my name.

"Kelsi, I need to know, have you seen or spoken to Brie? At all in the last couple of days?" I asked pleadingly, and then I turned suspicious, "Who are you on the phone to?"

"Oh no one, just one of those people who try to sell products. I think this one wants me to sign up to some other gas company."

"Do you want me to get rid of them for you?" I asked. I hated those people and usually tended to tell them to go screw themselves. From the tender age of 16, I'd taught Kelsi how to deal with them too.

"No, it's OK, you taught me well, I can do it on my own." She turned and started walking towards the living room then, "You stupid vendor! I don't want to buy your fucking product, go screw yourself!"

She disappeared into the living room then, but I over heard a few mumbled words that I couldn't make any sense of. I didn't really pay any attention to it; I was too deep in my own self-pity to pick them out properly. I just wanted to spill everything to Kelsi, to let her know about everything.

She came back and motioned for me to follow her into the kitchen. I did so and took a stool at the breakfast bar. I propped my head up on my elbows and let out a deep sigh. Why was all of this happening to me? What did I ever do wrong?

"So what was it that you wanted to talk about?" she asked as she busied herself by putting two tea bags into the pot and adding hot water before moving over to the other side of the room and reaching out for two cups.

"I don't know what to do Kelsi! I'm at a loss! I don't know where she is and she hasn't contacted me in any way, what am I to do?"

Kelsi visibly shook for a moment before she controlled herself, which only enforced my suspicion that Brie had actually been in contact with her.

"Have you heard anything from her? Anything at all?"

"I'm sorry Troy , I haven't heard anything. I've tried numerous times to reach her on her cell but I've never managed to get through to her. She never answers it."

"Why would she call Kevin though? I don't understand that. She called Kevin and told him not to worry but she didn't let anyone else know anything about anything."

If I was honest, I'd gone through several phases since she'd left.

At first I was slightly worried, I stayed up the whole of the first night waiting for her to return to the house but she never came back. I wasn't sure what to think about that but I figured that she'd just gone out with some friends and forgotten to call to tell me that she'd get back to late. And then she didn't show up again the morning or afternoon of that day and I began to feel pissed off at her. I'd simply thought that she was still out with her friends and was having too much fun to remember to call to tell me that she wouldn't be home until whenever. Was it really too much to ask of her?

But then, when I asked Kelsi if she'd heard from her and she'd said no, I'd known that something was going on. Something that was by no means normal. I started to feel worried again then but covered what I was feeling by a fiery and annoyed outer layer.

That was when I learnt that she'd spoken to Kevin on the phone and told him to tell me that she was fine, I felt furious at that. But then no one heard anything from her for days on end, which served to quell my anger and replaced it with the terror that I'd been feeling interiorly the whole time.

I had no idea where she was and that scared me more than anything. I couldn't imagine my life without her smiling face there to greet me on an evening when I got home or her body lying in my arms each and every morning when I woke up.

I'd recently received a letter from her too. At first I hadn't dared open it, but when I had and I was greeted by the sight of the ring I'd given her my spirits had fallen even lower. I somehow knew that she'd sent the ring back of her own accord. She hadn't been forced into doing it or anything like it. It had been her choice. What did that mean? I wasn't sure that I wanted to know.

I blinked and forced myself to come back to the land of the living. I came to a decision: I needed to get a message out to her. I'd have to get the band together so that we could work on something new.

"Troy, why exactly are we here? It's 6 am." Jason complained.

I'd called a meeting the next morning. I hadn't slept all night; I'd spent my time putting together a song, one that I now needed the music for.

I presented them with the lyrics and they read them through in silence. I could tell that maybe they were slightly astonished. I don't think that they ever really understood just how important Brie was to me and the lyrics caught them slightly off guard.

It was important to me though and they got that much from the heart felt words I'd used to express myself. They were only words though. Words couldn't explain my feelings. They were too weak for that.

It took us a while but we soon had the music to go with the lyrics, after several small disputes. It always happened like that: the person who wrote the lyrics would know how they wanted the song to be and the others would propose something that didn't fit their idea causing them to get frustrated.

Now all I needed to do was to get MTV to pass it on their channel, which I was almost completely sure they would do if I told them that the song was written especially for someone important and that I needed to make sure that it be heard by that someone as soon as possible.

A couple of days later we left the studios and were carted straight off to the MTV studios to give a live interview. They'd wanted to keep us in longer, but I'd insisted that we stop when we did. I just wanted to get my message out.

We were pampered with make-up before they considered us presentable to the public. I didn't much see the point in it myself, but they seemed to adore it so I just shut up and let them do what they wanted.

Stepping out from back stage the four of us were greeted by the screams of hundreds of people who were waiting for us to give our interview and give them the first glimpse of what was being referred to as our "new song".

The guy was one that I hadn't talked to before. He was quite short for a male, 5'8" at a guess, but his amazing hair was what caught my attention. There wasn't really anything all that special about it, but it was dyed neon pink and stuck out all over the place.

"So Troy, can you tell us why you decided to write this song?" he asked.

I zoned back in when I heard the interviewer say my name and tried my best to remember what we'd already talked about.

'Because I want Brie to come back to me!' my heart screamed out to me, I stubbornly ignored it and attempted to formulate another way of saying what I meant.

"There's someone important to me out there and at the moment, I don't know where they are. All I know is that I miss them and I want them to come back.'

The interview carried on for God knows how much longer. The guy kept jabbering on and on about useless stuff that had absolutely nothing to do with what we'd come to the studios to do but I ignored that fact and concentrated on the important task that was waiting for me in the very near future.

"And now let's give the boys a round of applause as they play their special song for us for the first time as a world premier."

We were shown over to a stage and the other three were given their instruments as I took the microphone. As I'd requested, there was a stool waiting for me on the stage.

I sat myself down on it and leaned against the small back, trying to comfort myself slightly. It didn't really work, I was too tense. This was my message to Brie and it had to go without any glitches.

"Brie None the Richer. That's what I'll always be." I said softly into the microphone. "My Brie was all that I ever needed for everything to turn out right, all I ever needed was to have you by my side. And now you've gone and with you, you've taken my Brie that is my life."

That had gone rather well. I felt a rush of adrenalin as Kevin strummed the first guitar chord and the music started up. The slow beats of the drums gave me the rhythm I needed to follow. I took a deep breath before singing:

In the dark of the night you slipped into the shadows

Without a trace or a word you disappeared

You took off into the unseeing black

Where are you now? Please tell me because I need to know

You've left me now, but nothing will stop me from dreaming of your face

The warmth of my half empty bed chills me to the bone

Did you have a reason to leave? Let me know if that's the case

All I want, my only wish, is for you to come back home

All the miles that separate us seem to simply disappear

Every time I think of your pretty face

Then a hurt fills my heart as realization dawns

You don't plan on coming home any time soon, do you?

You've left me now, but nothing will stop me from dreaming of your face

The warmth of my half empty bed chills me to the bone

Did you have a reason to leave? Let me know if that's the case

All I want, my only wish, is for you to come back home

Days pass that make me grow older since you left

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder

My heart is now reaching out to you, pleading for your return

I can't help that I'm so deeply in love with you

You've left me now, but nothing will stop me from dreaming of your face

The warmth of my half empty bed chills me to the bone

Did you have a reason to leave? Let me know if that's the case

All I want, my only wish, is for you to come back home

Oh yeah, yeah

You've left me now, but nothing will stop me from dreaming of your face

The warmth of my half empty bed chills me to the bone

Did you have a reason to leave? Let me know if that's the case

All I want, my only wish, is for you to come back home

The music faded out and I cited my last part of the song: my beg to Brie to take pity and to return to me.

"You've left me now but nothing will stop me from dreaming of your face, nothing will stop me from dreaming of the times we spent together, when you were beside me. I think about you all the time, and then I wonder where you are. I won't be able to rest until you're back by my side. You'll always be in my dreams, but I can't survive on only my dreams."

I put the microphone down and left the stage while a stunned audience slowly lost their gold fish look and started screaming and clapping. The heart felt lyrics had obviously been a hit. That, or the fact that that song was the only one we'd ever written that was slow. All our other songs were fast paced, perfect for the mosh pit.

I could only hope that Brie would hear my words and decide that she couldn't carry on without me the same way that I couldn't keep going without her.

I crossed my fingers and wished upon a star, hoping that maybe, just maybe, my wish would come true.

Then something else dawned on me. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone, wondering whether or not I should. Would it hurt to try?


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I pulled on Laura's shirt like a lost child, it was too much for me to handle. I couldn't deal with sorting my head out about Liam and Troy in the same night. She got the idea of what I wanted to tell her without even having to look me. Anyone who knew the story would have.

"Come on you two," she said with an air of authority I'd always admired her for. I figured that she must have found Sharpay and Martha, "We're going right now."

"What?" Martha asked sounding outraged. I could just imagine her brow creasing in disbelief and some anger. "I love this song! We can't leave now. It's only the beginning of it!"

The protest to stay there was not something I'd been expecting. I wasn't too sure how to react to it. All I knew was hearing his voice everywhere around me was like receiving blow after blow to the stomach during my period. It was causing me physical pain. I thought my heart was going to beat right out of its cage in my chest too.

"Now!" I thundered, my voice sounding angrier than I had meant it to. I wasn't fully in control of everything my body was doing right then. The volume of my voice was one thing that escaped my control entirely.

"What's her problem?" she asked, doing a weird head movement that made her look like she was trying to imitate someone from a film; in other words she looked like a total idiot. She even lifted a hand up too, her palm facing me.

"I don't like this group," I answered, my eyes squinting dangerously.

"I'm not leaving until this song is over," she stated as though it was her word that went. I could feel my anger bubbling up and I knew that it was going to spill over if I wasn't careful. When I was drunk I became incapable of controlling my anger too.

Laura knew that full well, she'd seen me drunk enough times before, after all, which teenagers don't experiment with alcohol? Well, we had rather a lot.

Knowing that there were but a few precious seconds before I exploded, Laura stepped in before I could turn into a killing machine and rip out that little, stuck up tart's hair (a strange urge that was pulsing through me at the time).

"I'll leave now with Gabi. Shar, you stay here til the end of the song and then come and find us outside."

Both of us spun on our heels and left the club before Sharpay could even nod in response. It was cold outside, colder than I'd expected it to be, and with only thin clothes on, I was soon shivering uncontrollably. All I wanted was to rev up my car's engine and sit in front of the heater while it made the inside cozy and warm. Never mind that I would have had to wait for the engine to warm up first, that didn't really occur to me.

I fumbled in my pockets, trying to find my car keys. I soon realized that the keys were not in my pockets and started to frantically run over all of the places where I could have left them in my head. They could have been anywhere! They could have been somewhere on the dance floor or by the bar or…or…I didn't know!

I screamed in exasperation and pulled at my hair. Argh! God, all I wanted was to sit in my car, was that too much to ask?

My breathing sped up significantly. For a while I thought I was going to faint, but I forced myself to calm down. Fainting wasn't an option. Not one that I wanted to take at least.

"Laura?" I asked. I wasn't surprised to find that my voice was shaking slightly, "Do you have any idea where my keys could be?"

"I have them," she answered, shaking her head at me. She looked so calm and relaxed while I was riled up inside. She'd known the whole time, she'd watched me screaming and pulling at my hair and everything, and she hadn't pointed out that there was nothing to worry about! Then again, I supposed that I could give her the benefit of the doubt as she had no idea that I'd been going mad over my lost car keys and not over Troy.

Of course, I felt like an idiot then. Memories floated back to me of having passed them over when she'd demanded them upon seeing my drunken stagger. I couldn't even put my finger on why I hadn't remembered since I'd only handed them over minutes before hand.

I laughed it off, my laughter shrill and unnatural, and clambered into the passenger side of the car. I'd drunk way too much alcohol to be able to drive and I knew it. I huddled down into my seat, trying to make myself as small as possible, and as there wasn't much else to do, I found my mind drifting back to thoughts of Troy.

I cursed Macumba for having played their song, but I couldn't understand why I hadn't even considered the possibility that one of their songs would be played. Heaven, they had enough of them! One of them was bound to have been played during the night.

What must have been five minutes or so later, the backdoors to my car creaked open and the car swung slightly as the other two girls joined us. Laura stuck the key in the ignition and turned, a rumbling noise signaled the engine coming to life.

Laura took the hand break off, put the car in gear and pressed down on the accelerator. The car shot forwards. My hand flew to my head as I was hit by a wave of nausea. I chastised myself for allowing Liam to buy me so many drinks and for actually having consumed them all. I'd gone way over my limit and my head was swimming.

The only noise in the car was the whisperings of the two in the back seat and the quiet rumble of the engine. Even that felt magnified to my ears. It all became so deafening that I actually clamped my hands over my ears. I managed to zone out, my mind filled with blurry thoughts; it was hard to pick out one from another. Every time they concentrated on a new subject, they seemed to wander back to slurred thoughts of Troy. My drunken mind was the one which could fully understand the depths of my love for him, and just how much I was missing him.

I tried with all my might to stomp these thoughts out of my head, but as with many others, when I was drunk I no longer had any control over my thoughts either. Sometimes I wondered what I did have control over. But, I didn't need to wonder for long, as I knew the answer. My body was still mine, I had a feeble grasp on my mind too, but my thoughts were given a mind of their own. They did what they wanted, tortured me with whatever images they could dig up. They had it in for me and I could do nothing about it.

I was startled out of my most recent Troy related fantasy when my car suddenly screeched to a halt. I was jerked forwards in my seat as a string of curses flew from my mouth.

"What happened?" I mumbled.

"I almost hit someone... a girl," Laura replied, her whole body shaking from the near accident. "She just appeared out of no where, like a ghost. One moment the road was clear, the next she was standing in front of the car, her eyes large as if she knew that I was going to hit her..."

"But you didn't hit her?" I asked, worry managing to lace my voice.

"No, but almost. She's still out there. I can see her shadow in the beam."

I pulled myself together and reached out for the door handle, opening it and leaning out. Of course, it was me getting out of the car to check everything out, never mind that I couldn't walk in a straight line. Things got off to a good start when I tumbled out of the car, proving myself to be the drunk that I was rather than a sincerely worried passenger in an almost car accident. I picked myself up, with some difficulty, from the ground and staggered around to the front of the car.

There was a girl there that I vaguely recognized. I couldn't put my finger on her name, or where I knew her from, but I knew that I had some sort of link with her. She was sitting on the floor, her head in her hands, sobbing slightly. She hard straight medium length dark brown hair. It rang a bell but I didn't know which one!

"Hey," I soothed. "Are you alright?"

The girl's head jerked up and her tear-filled eyes widened as she saw me.

"Gabi ?" Ok . . . that meant that she knew me too, "Was that you who almost killed me?"

"No. It was my cousin. I'm not in the right state to be sitting in the driver's seat. If it had been me, you would have been hit be the car and thus either dead, as you put it, or badly hurt."

"Oh. I guess I'm lucky it wasn't you behind the wheel then," she answered.

Suddenly it all clicked. My eyes widened as vague memories of the park came back to me. I knew how I knew the girl!

"I'm sorry Taylor. Come on, let us make it up to you and drive you the rest of the way home." I thought about that for a while, my brows over furrowed in some form of concentration. "Why are you out here at this time anyway?"

"It's only midnight!" she protested.

Was it? Time had seemed to fly by a lot faster in my world than it had done in reality. If someone had asked me an approximate of the time, I'd have said it was at least 2 or 3 in the morning.

Taylor agreed to let us take her back to her house so she climbed into the back of the car with Sharpay and Martha. With some minor difficulties, I managed to get myself back into the passenger seat and belted up before we set off again in the direction of Martha's house.

When we got there, it was the exact opposite of I'd expected. She'd been acting like a spoiled brat all evening and to see that her living quarters actually consisted of a small, half run down, bungalow that could only contain three or four rooms at the most came as a shock. For a fleeting moment I almost felt sorry for her, but my drunken side still held a grudge against her for insisting on staying at the club during that song.

Sharpay got out with her and waved goodbye to us before we sped away again into the darkness. Well, I lie. There were street lamps on that road. Taylor pointed us in the direction of her house and I happily chattered away with her until we got there.

"You know something?" I asked her, my hands sweeping wide and consequently hitting the car door. It actually hurt, but I didn't make too much of a fuss of it.

"I don't yet, but I'm sure that I will do within the next couple of minutes," she replied grinning madly at the way she'd formulated her answer into that phrase used way too often.

"I think that we should hang out tomorrow, like go out and go to the mall or something and then to a bar afterwards. What do you say?"

"I say I agree with you. We ought to do something like that. I've got your number in my phone so I'll give you a ring whenever I get up."

"That's cool," I answered, just as we pulled up to her house.

She thanked us and stepped out of the car, being swallowed by the night almost as soon as she slammed the door shut again.

I turned to Laura and nodded before she put her foot down on the accelerator and sped off in the direction of her and Paul's houses. I just felt like collapsing and falling asleep. I knew that I wouldn't for a while longer at least. But that didn't matter.

I was too tired to be bothered with much else, so I just looked out of my window at the black speeding past us. It was the only thing that I could actually see. It wasn't very interesting though.

A couple of minutes later we were parked on the street just outside Paul's house. I was beginning to feel a bit queasy and was glad that I wouldn't have to walk all that far to get to the front door.

I clumsily waved goodbye to my cousin before I stumbled up the steps. After having rummaged in my pocket for a good five minutes, I remembered that Laura still had my cars keys; she'd forgotten to give them back. And my house keys were attached to that key chain. Damn. I prayed to God that Paul would still be up. If he wasn't, I would have to bang on the door and yell until he woke up again. And if he were out, well, knowing me, I'd probably just collapse in a heap on the floor and sob.

I knocked once, twice, three times before I lost my balance, favoring the direction of getting closer to the pattered material. My head went crashing into the hard wood of the door.

About thirty seconds later, the door swung open, leaving my limp body falling forwards into the tiled floor. I braced myself for the impact, but one never came. I realized that Paul had his arms around my waist and was me pulling back into a standing position.

"Come on you; let's get you into the lounge," he said, dragging me in the direction of the sofa.

When we got there he released his grip on me and I went hurtling down onto the soft sofa, bouncing a couple of times before I came to a stop and started drifting over to one side.

The real effects of the alcohol were beginning to affect me. It didn't help that I was tired, and I knew that now I would lose most of my ability to talk coherent sentences.

"Why are you drunk like this?"

"Mr. Man was at the sea with us." My God, my drunken brain knew that Macumba was a sea! I wasn't too sure where the turtle had come from though. "He bought me drinks while explaining his history."

"Yes. What happened next?"

"I got drunk."

"I can see that. Does Mr. Man have a name?"

"L . . . L . . ." I knew this one, "Li . . . Li . . . Lia . . ."

"Liam?" Paul asked, interrupting my futile search for the name.

"Yes! Liam. He's a bad, bad man! He got with the first slut that would take him when I left. Very bad man!" I coughed twice and brought my eyes back into focus slightly.

"Why were you talking to Liam?"

"Because he was there?" I questioned. It would have been the most obvious answer, but Paul wasn't to know that. He gave me the evil eye anyway.

"Gabi?"

"Yes?"

"Would you mind telling me about what went on back in Florida? What did Troy do?"

That was when I burst into tears. Just hearing his name was enough for emotional drunken me to crack and bawl my eyes out. Paul wrapped his arms around me but that wasn't enough to stem the flow of tears. I decided that I wanted him to know. He deserved to know really.

I sobbed the whole story out into his chest, not missing out one bit, but possibly emphasizing the importance of others.

"And . . . and then, I left." I concluded after having spent the last half an hour talking non-stop. Paul hadn't interrupted me even once, which was a miracle for him, but I was glad for it.

"Don't worry. He can't get you anymore. You're miles and miles away from him. You're safe here. You've got me, and Jerry and Oliver. Keep your chin up and it'll all get better."

That was when he turned the television on. He did it in all innocence. He flicked channels a couple of times and I was beginning to fall asleep in his arms.

He finally chose a channel where some voice was announcing that they were going to replay a special video that only that channel had, something by some band or other. The name didn't register.

My brain didn't make any links. It couldn't be bothered to.

I yawned and rolled my head away from the screen and towards the back of the sofa. I was almost asleep when the sound of my name being called brought me back to reality.

Suddenly I was much more sober. I'd recognize that voice even in the deepest, darkest pits of hell.

"Gabi None the Richer. That's what I'll always be," he said softly into the microphone. "My Gabi was all that I ever needed for everything to turn out right, all I ever needed was to have you by my side. And now you've gone and with you you've taken my Gabi that is my life."

Gabi None the Richer. That was Troy's nickname for me.

There on the screen, the camera was zooming in on Kevin's face before it flew to Jason and then Chad. That was Troy's band on the stage.

The camera swung around again and landed on the man, sitting in the middle of the stage, singing words that I didn't recognize into his mike. His azure blue eyes suddenly fixed themselves on the screen. Those were Troy's eyes. That was Troy's voice. It was Troy's song too. And by the sounds of it, it was for me.

Paul looked over at me, silently asking if he should change the channel. I shook my head in response and kept my eyes trained on the screen. Watching the man I'd been, and if I were honest with myself still was, so in love with sing these words I knew were being sent out for me.

"You've left me now but nothing will stop me from dreaming of your face, nothing will stop me from dreaming of the times we spent together, when you were beside me. I think about you all the time, and then I wonder where you are. I won't be able to rest until you're back by my side. You'll always be in my dreams, but I can't survive on only my dreams."

I was confused. I didn't know how to react. Did Troy love me? In a way, I sincerely hoped so.

I got up and set off in the direction of my room, still swaying slightly and incapable of walking in a straight line.

What was I to do now?


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Eight o'clock found me with my head stuck down the toilet, a lovely picture in itself. The contents of my stomach were making their way forcefully out of my body. It was, of course, the alcohol that had set off this reaction. I cursed Liam over and over in my head, hating him for having allowed me to drink so much of the stuff. It must have been obvious that I'd gone over the top at some point.

My head felt like it was about to crack open and my body was ridding itself of the remainder of the alcoholic substance which was still residing inside its stomach…stupid Liam.

I hated hangovers. I only had myself to blame though…and Liam.

To top it off, I'd hardly slept at all, and when I eventually emerged from the bathroom, I could easily have been mistaken for some sort of zombie: my skin was an unnatural milky white, the bags around my eyes were bigger than they'd been in a long time, and my eyelids stayed permanently half shut.

In brief, at that point in time I was most definitely not the prettiest person on the planet. If I were, I felt extremely sorry for everyone else.

I'd spent the whole of the night contemplating Troy's message. His use of my special nickname made it impossible to think that the song was meant for anyone else but me. He wanted me to go back to him. A part of me wanted to listen to him and run back into his open arms. Then the other part would pipe up and scream out that he'd cheated on me. The two halves continuously battled it out between them. Neither seemed to be winning, neither seemed to be losing.

I was in inner turmoil and I couldn't seem to put an end to it. I hadn't spoken to anyone back in Florida in at least a week and a half. Time seemed to be flashing by at an amazingly slow pace.

I groaned in frustration as the toaster made a popping noise, letting me know that my toast was done. I wasn't entirely sure that it would be a good idea for me to actually consume any food, but my stomach was screaming out to me to give it something to eat. Well, I thought to myself, if it came back up again, I'd just stare angrily at it and possibly poke it. Or would that cause more pain?

Suddenly, my phone started buzzing on the counter where I had left it. "Hello?" I asked the person on the other end of the line. My voice sounded dull, even to me. I vaguely thought of Marvin the Paranoid Android before turning my attention back to waiting to find out who had been calling me. The number had been masked but I'd decided to answer it anyway. My day couldn't be made any worse than it already was. I failed to feel even slightly nervous.

"Gabi! Hey, are you feeling any better this morning? You were pretty out of it last night," a voice chirped happily at me. Someone got a good night's sleep! I turned sour until I realized who the voice belonged to.

It was Taylor. Yes, she most definitely sounded like she'd just had a peaceful night's sleep. I was green with envy. What I would have given to be in peachy form.

"I'm feeling a bit dead, but apart from that I'm doing pretty well, and you?"

"Good. I'm good. Do you still want to go out and hang at the mall or whatever?"

Huh? What was she going on about now?

It took a couple of seconds for the memory of my having told her we'd hang out together that day to come back to me. Then it clicked and it was as if a light bulb had suddenly flashed on in my head. A lot of things I'd done that night before and seemingly forgotten came back to me. Such as how we'd nearly ran over her. I hoped she didn't hold that against me.

"Yeah, sounds good to me. Do you want to meet outside the cinema in an hour's time?" I asked, trying to sound as chirpy as she did, but failing miserably.

"Perfect! I'll see you in an hour then."

The dial tone sounded and I hung up my end too. I had about thirty-five minutes to get ready before I'd have to leave. I started to run over all the things that I could do in that time in my head. Take a shower…that was essential. I didn't plan on going anywhere with the smell of fresh puke on me any time soon.

I stepped out of my car fifty-five minutes later, turning back to lock it before setting off in the direction of the cinema. I increased my pace from my normal snail slow speed to a rushed shuffle. I must have looked a little strange to anyone who happened to look at me. I was slightly late, it had taken me longer to get ready than I'd expected and I'd be at the rendezvous point at least five minutes later than planned.

Taylor was already there when I arrived. To my surprise, she was actually twiddling her thumbs while looking around herself, a politely bored expression on her face.

She jumped up when she saw me; showing off her laid back clothes. She was in a pair of trousers that looked to be about two sizes too big for her. Her t-shirt, on the other hand, was skin-tight and read the slogan "You knead me, I don't knead you", sporting a cartoon of a piece of bread below it. I grinned widely when I got close enough to read it. I liked her humor.

"You're late!" she said, pointing an accusing finger at me and waggling it. I got the distinct impression that she was treating me the same way as she would a small child. So I'd been lowered to small child level…just great.

I laughed anyway. I was in the process of lightening up.

"I know. But the hot water was just too nice. I couldn't stand to get out of it. And then I poked myself in the eye with my liner." I rolled my eyes at myself. I only very rarely ever poked myself in the eye with my make-up, and of course, every time that I did was a day when I was supposed to meet someone and look at least halfway decent.

"With your liner?" The brown haired girl asked incredulously.

"Well, yeah. It was an accident." I felt it necessary to stand up for myself.

"If you'd done it on purpose, I suppose I'd have to be pretty scared."

'No, not really. Some people do things like that to 'punish themselves'. For all you know I could have been 'punishing myself'."

"Yeah, but even if you were 'punishing yourself', I'd have to be scared for your mental health. Who knows what you could do to yourself?"

"Umm . . . That was a rhetorical question wasn't it?"

"Yes," she nodded. "Anyway, are you ready to hit the shops?"

I produced a credit card from my purse and grinned manically in response. It had been a long time since I'd done any shopping. I was ready to spend like mad!

I had a shared bank account with Troy, one of the many things we'd set up together, where we'd both put in a certain amount of money. Obviously, with him being the celebrity, he'd put in a lot more than I had. I planned on using quite a bit of his money right then. I wasn't going to use the money in my own account. I wasn't even sure if I had all that much in it.

"I need to buy new stuff! It'll make me feel so much better."

"I know what you mean. Whenever I feel down I always go out with my card and get myself something new."

"Oh, I don't plan on getting _something_ new," I pointed out, my grin widening. "I'm gonna get some_ things_. The "s" is very important."

She laughed and we set off in the direction on the nearest clothes shop. I could hardly contain my relief at being set loose in a shopping mall again. It felt good being there. Even if the only thing I bought was a coffee or a packet of crisps, the atmosphere was one that I lived for.

"Is there a problem with the card?" I asked. We were standing in our fifth shop, from all of which I'd bought at least one thing.

"Not at all. We're just running the details," the middle-aged clerk told me. Her glasses were perched on the end of her nose and I found myself wishing they'd fall off and shatter, just so that I could laugh at her.

But, getting back to the point: Why? Why were they running the details? They hadn't run the details in any of the other shops!

"I take it that you are a Miss Gabriella Montez?"

'Enough with the stupid questions!' I thought, just let me buy my stuff!

"Yes."

"And this account was set up in Florida?"

Oh God, I knew where this was going.

"Yes," I repeated, a little less enthusiastically.

"Along with a certain Mr. Troy Bolton?"

Could she have said that any louder? The eyes belonging to the people forming a close circle around me were watching me now, intrigued. Taylor's eyes were wide with disbelief.

Where was a big black hole opening up, against all probability, in the ground when you needed one?

"Yes."

"Ok. You may pay now."

Well, at least the clerk sounded nicely happy. I was just thankful that she wasn't some teenager with a holiday job. That would have been hell. They wouldn't have let me get away easily. I may have been forced to turn and flee from the shop . . . but not without my card.

"Shit!" I cursed out loud once we'd got back into the main stream of people flowing around the mall. I may have said it a little too loudly as some old people turned to look at me rather shocked, and young mothers covered their children's ears.

"What?" Taylor asked, her eyes still wide and disbelieving. She hadn't once taken her eyes off of me. Was it really that big a deal?

"I can't believe I didn't think of this before!" I said, annoyed with myself.

"What's wrong?"

"As soon as he gets the paper with the account details on it, he'll know where I've been spending the money. He'll know that I'm here! I can't hide out here anymore! I've either got to move on or face him!"

I groaned and sighed heavily. I could be so stupid at times!

"He?"

"Troy," I answered automatically, my voice dead sounding.

"So, you really know Troy Bolton?"

"Well, yeah. I was engaged to him until a week and a bit ago."

Taylor seemed to be choking on something, forcing me to stop and wait for her to get over her little fit. Saliva is such a dangerous thing.

"You really, really know him?" she asked me disbelievingly.

"Yes, I still know him," I deadpanned.

'I still love him,' a little voice in my head continued. I shook my head to get the thought out of it. No matter how much I knew that I did actually still love him, there was no way I would have got over him in such a short time, it didn't change the fact that I simply didn't want to hear that…especially not from myself.

"How long have you known him for?"

"Oh, umm, just over three years now."

"And how long were you dating for?"

"Three years, then he proposed and we were engaged for a month and a bit."

"But now you've broken up with him?"

"Yeah. It was a one-sided decision and I had nowhere else to go but here. So here I came. And here I've been since. And he doesn't know that I'm here."

"I'm not sure I fully understand." She blinked a few times at me in polite confusion.

I pressed stop, rewound and started over from the beginning. It would be the second time I'd told the story in less than twenty-four hours. The dull pain was already wringing my stomach; it couldn't have been made much worse by telling everything over again. And bizarrely enough, I trusted Taylor.

It was beginning to get quite late when I got back to Paul's house. I was pretty tired and didn't want to do very much other than slip into my nice, warm bed. Paul had been thoughtful enough to put hot water bottles in it to heat it up for me before I got home.

It had taken me two times of telling Taylor the story for her to believe me that I actually knew Troy. She'd been in shock, but she couldn't be blamed, who wouldn't have been? I had a link to the celebrity world, and over my three years with Troy, I'd met quite a few other celebs. I'd met people that had my jaw hanging loosely on how level-headed they'd managed to stay over their years of fame, and others that forced me to battle with the urge to slap some sense back into them. Celebrities didn't usually tend to live in the same world as they had done before they became famous. I learned to deal with that, although it wasn't easy.

We'd decided not to go out to a bar afterwards. We'd caught a film and parted ways. I wouldn't have been happy in a bar that evening anyway. I could feel the cold fingers of depression reaching out and freezing my skin with their icy touch. I knew that it wouldn't be very long before I fell into full depression. I was actually quite surprised that I wasn't already there. I'd proved myself as strong, or was I unfeeling?

I preferred to think that I was strong. The idea that I was unfeeling didn't please me very much. I was very happy without it.

"Hey Paul," I mumbled as I walked past him and ruffled his hair, an old habit of mine. He was in the very manly position of being slumped in his favorite chair in front of the TV, a can of beer in his left hand and the remote in his right.

"Hi. Have a good day?" he asked, sounding as uninterested in what I had to say as he possibly could have.

"Yeah. It was cool. I'm going to bed. I'm knackered."

"Sure. See you in the morning."

I continued my half-waddle down the corridor and to my bedroom door. It took me a couple of tries to get it open with my hands being loaded down with bags. After I'd initially remembered that the credit card information would be sent back to Florida, I'd figured that since the harm had already been done, it wouldn't have done very much more to continue spending. That's what I'd gone out to do anyway, wasn't it?

I finally managed to get my door open and walked through into the room, dropping my many bags onto the floor. I'd have to ring Troy at some point. I'd been meaning to phone him ever since that phone call with Kelsi. Now, to stop him from coming to me as soon as he got the letter I'd have to call him about it.

I put my new stuff away in the bottom of my wardrobe and feel onto the bed, not caring that I was still wearing my day clothes. I couldn't be bothered to change into my nightclothes.

Just as I was about to drop off to sleep, the noise of my phone ringing pulled me back into a half conscious state. I groaned frustrated and reached out, picking it up and placing it against my ear, not bothering to check whom it was that was calling me.

"Hello?" I asked the caller, my voice laced with fatigue.

"Gabriella?" the other person asked. Yes, that was my name, but I wanted to figure out who was calling me before letting them know that. "Gabriella?" they asked again. The voice was familiar, I was sure it was.

"Uhhh…" was all I could manage. I was still in the dark about the caller's identity. I knew that I knew the voice, but my dead brain couldn't put a face or a name to it.

"Brie? Brie, are you there?"

I sat bolt upright, my face draining of all color as I figured out who it was on the other end of the line.


	11. Author's Note

Hey guys

Thank you so much to all of you who have been reviewing. I really appreciate the feedback and am glad you are enjoying the story so far. I'm starting to run out of ideas for how this story should go though. I've got a couple more chapters written, but after that I'm not so sure. There probably won't be very many more chapters, but I don't want to just end the story. I want it to have a good ending.

If any of you have any ideas of things you would like to see happen in the story please let me know.

Thanks

cookiesgirl2010


	12. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

I quickly scrambled back out of bed, no longer feeling sleepy as all traces of fatigue had left my weary body. I ran out of my room, holding the phone in front of me as though it might explode. I made my way into the lounge where Paul was still sitting. All the time I could still hear his voice calling out to me, begging me to let him know that I was there…pleading with me. I couldn't answer him…I just couldn't. I wasn't ready.

Paul turned around at all the noise I was making and I rushed towards him, pushing the phone into his hands. I had to get him to talk to him. I couldn't just hang up. If I just hung up it would have been wrong of me. It had taken him a long time to get his act together and call me, I'd expected his phone call long before he'd dialed my number and pressed ring. And yet, I still wasn't ready to face him…or rather his voice.

"It's Troy," I hissed at Paul, my eyes filling up and almost overflowing with tears I felt I couldn't shed. "Please, talk to him. Tell him he's got the wrong number or something. Please. Please get him to go away."

I must have looked just that desperate because he took the tiny cell phone without a word and pressed it to his right ear. When he spoke, his voice was a lot deeper and he had an accent on that sounded as though it didn't belong anywhere in particular. That was good thinking; he wouldn't be able to pin me to Paul then. After all, he knew Paul's voice.

I stared earnestly at him as he started talking. Nervous about what he would say. He could be quite the protective brother when he wanted to be and I half expected him to start shouting at Troy about how he was a cheating, lying scumbag. That would have given the game away.

"Yeh…wha? Nah, this ain't no Brie…I don't kno whu ya talkin' bout mate…can't help ya there…sorry mate, I don't kno anywun named Brie…Yeh, it's ok. Lata mate."

He hung up and handed the phone back to me and I quickly turned it off before pocketing it. I collapsed on the sofa next to him and wrapped my arms around him. I sobbed uncontrollably into his shoulder for a full five minutes before I could recompose myself enough to look at him with puffy red eyes.

"Thank you," I whispered. I was so lucky that I had him there.

"It's ok. I'd do anything for you, and you know that," he told me softly, stroking my hair soothingly. He held me close to him, instinctively knowing what I needed.

I was glad now that I'd told him the whole story in my drunken state the night before. It saved me from having to repeat it then. I didn't feel up to that. I couldn't believe that Troy had actually called me. I hadn't expected him to even bother calling. He was free now. He could go off with his ex of however many years before and live happily ever after while I attempted to create yet another new life for myself. Why did he call me? Why? Just as I was beginning to feel stronger, he called and broke that image. It was like I was staring into a broken mirror and seeing my distorted reflection.

I made my way slowly back to my room and clambered back into my bed, tears flowing silently down my cheeks again. I pulled the sheets closely around myself. I knew what was coming. I'd been hoping to hold it off for a little longer but I wasn't sure that I'd be able to anymore.

Sure enough, the next morning I'd fallen into the black hole that is depression. I stayed curled up in my bed all morning. By midday Paul had started to get worried about me and come in to see if I was still alive. He tried to pull me out of bed but I just grumbled at him, moaning and groaning until he left again. I didn't want to be disturbed. I didn't want to get up. I didn't want to talk to anyone. I didn't want anything but the darkness of my cold room.

I didn't leave my bed all day. Not even the prospect of a trip to the supermarket (another of my favorite activities) could motivate me into climbing out from between the thick sheets. I just simply didn't want to.

I wanted to cry myself back to sleep and sleep until the end of all time. I knew that I couldn't, but the idea was nice.

The next day was the same as well. I couldn't leave my bed all that day either. On the other hand, the day after I was out of bed before nine. I was feeling a lot better, I was still a little shaky but I was bored of my room and the nothing that was in it. At least I was refreshed, once I'd showered. I was very rested and full of energy. I was still feeling depressed, but it was only a light depression.

When I walked into the kitchen Paul was already there, sipping at his coffee. Our eyes locked and I sent him a look. He nodded, immediately understanding what I wanted to do. No words needed to be exchanged.

We walked down the street to the small shop there and together we bought a bouquet of white and pink flowers. We then walked up to the small path winding through the dead churchyard, only a few tufts of grass managing to survive the cold weather, before turning off onto the gravel path that lead up to the largest horse chestnut in the yard. Its bare winter branches were waving with the slight breeze, almost as if it were welcoming us back, drawing us to it. And as prisoners of its spell, we obediently moved closer to it until we came to a dead stop just before the tombstone that sat under it.

It had been three years since I'd last been to this place, and I felt guilty now. I should have come back more often, but it hurt to come back. It hurt to stand there, looking down at the yellow grass and think that under that grass, and under all that soil, lay the slowly decomposing body of my mother. It all hurt so much, so badly. It was like a knife wound to the chest that would only go away when I was nowhere near the cause of the pain.

I bent down in front of the large marble stone, kissed the tips of my two fore fingers and touched the soft ground with them, before I kissed the stone itself, my lips lingering slightly.

"I love you, mom," I whispered.

It had happened five years before, one and a half before I'd left for Florida. It had been cancer that ripped her away from us all. She'd fought against it for ever so long…preparing Paul, Jerry, Oliver, and myself for when she wouldn't be there. In the end, it inevitably got the best of her. We buried her under the horse chestnut, her favorite place in the whole of the churchyard…next to her grandma. They were together again but we were still on the waiting list.

Afterwards, dad hadn't been able to cope. I think it was my fault really. I was a spitting image of mom and he couldn't stand to see me there, her exact replica, and not have her there herself. He finally left us a year after her death, not telling any of us where he was going. We'd lost contact with him after that except for birthday and Christmas cards. We would have gone after him, but the problem was that each time we received one it had a different postmark on it. We had no possible way of tracing him.

I traced my fingers lightly over the loving epitaph.

"Maria Montez 1961 - 2004 A loving mother, a caring friend, a soul able to share warmth with those around it."

I placed the bouquet on the ground and stood up again, turning to look at Paul. His eyes were fixed on the grave, glistening with unshed tears. I knew that he was thinking about how she wouldn't look anything like herself anymore. That nightmare haunted me for a long time after the funeral. The thought that what had once been our mother was being slowly eaten by worms, rotting away into nothing, was not an easy one to harbor.

I wrapped my arms around him and leaned my head on his shoulder lightly. I knew that he'd sacrificed a lot of things when she'd died to help me keep going; Jerry and Oliver too. I'd been the closest to her after dad, and her death had affected me the most. I was eternally in debt to my big brothers; I couldn't imagine having got through it all if they hadn't been there.

"I miss her too," I whispered.

I felt him smile and we just stood like that for a while, looking at the grave, his arm around my shoulders and my head leaning on his shoulder. Eventually we whispered our goodbyes to her before turning around and heading back in the direction we'd come from, leaving mom to rest in peace again.

_It was a bright morning of a Saturday in early November. Troy and I had been seeing each other for a little over two months and we'd decided to meet up that day at the local park. _

_We were walking through the rose gardens, chattering about whatever took our fancy when something unordinary happened. _

_A young girl of 14 or 15 approached us and sort of followed us at a distance for a while until she found the necessary courage to come forwards and greet us, or rather greet Troy. He didn't seem to recognize her at all, but he still greeted her as she greeted him. _

"_Hi," she breathed as though she didn't dare believe what she was seeing. _

"_Hey," Troy replied, his brows furrowing momentarily in either confusion or annoyance, I couldn't tell which. "Can I help you?" _

"_Could you please sign this for me?" she asked holding out a piece of paper and a pen. I was very confused at that. Why on Earth would this girl want my boyfriend's autograph? _

"_Sure," he replied, a strained smile creeping over his lips. Taking the pen, he scrawled his name across the paper. _

_He handed it back to the girl who looked at it in adoration for a couple of seconds before scampering off in the direction she'd come from. I watched her for a while before turning back to Troy. _

"_What exactly was that about?" I asked, still lost and confused. _

"_I'm not sure. It's the first time someone's asked me for my autograph in public. Of course I've signed stuff at signings before, but never when I've just been out and about." _

"_Signings?" _

"_I do them for promoting things from time to time. I haven't done one in a couple of weeks though." _

"_Why would you do signings?"_

"_I'm in a band. We do signings for the fans. That girl must have quite simply been a fan who recognized me out here." _

"_What do you mean you're in a band? You're famous?" _

"_Yes. Haven't you ever seen my face around the place?" _

_I thought about it for a moment in silence. Then it dawned upon me. I had recognized him the day that I met him, but that was because I'd seen him before in a magazine or something. He was one of the celebrities Laura had been talking about, and I hadn't even noticed it! _

_I'd been dating a celebrity without even realizing it! God, I was such an idiot! _

_I turned back to Troy and smiled sheepishly. He just grinned broadly back at me, not at all put off by the fact that I hadn't known about his stardom, and reached out to take my hand in his own before continuing with our walk of the gardens (which didn't actually contain a lot of flowers since it was almost winter). _

"_That's one of the reasons I like you so much, you treat me like a normal person instead of something fragile that might break." _

"_Me? Break you? Yeah, that's a laugh!" _

I sat up in my bed and rubbed my eyes slightly. I had these dreams about Troy too often to be affected by them anymore. Sometimes even my waking mind would force me to watch these images over and over again. It failed to torture me any longer. I supposed I'd grown used to them.

I'd been astounded when I'd first found out that Troy was a well-known celebrity. I hadn't been able to believe that I was dating someone loved by many who would tour the world and play his music for the crowds. That wasn't something that happened to people like me.

I'd accepted it in the end. It had seemed bizarre and unreal to me. But it was the truth. I knew that it was time to talk to Troy again. It was time to turn my phone on again.

There were four new messages in my voice mailbox. After a minute or two of pondering whether I should or shouldn't listen to them, I decided that I had to. Upon taking a deep breath, I rang my box and placed my phone to my ear.

"Brie, I know that this is your phone number. I figure that you picked up the phone the other day, too, but then got someone else to speak for you. Why? What happened? Where are you? Are you ok? Please just let me know that you're alive and well. You don't know how much it's hurting me not knowing anything. Anyway, I'm going to try calling you again some time soon. I miss you. I love you…"

Troy. I didn't want to dwell on what he'd said so I moved on to the next message.

"Gabi? Why's you're phone turned off? That's not like you at all. Oh well, it doesn't matter. When are you going to call Troy? It's been ages since you left now, and he's really hurting. You only have to look at him to see that. I can see it in his eyes. Did you see the thing he did for you on MTV, too? Call me back whenever you get this. Bye."

That one was from Kelsi. I made a mental note to call her back and let her know about all that was going on. But I still had two messages to listen to. I moved on to the next one.

"Where are you Gabi? You've been gone for two weeks now, this isn't like you. Why did you leave? What happened? Why did you ring me that first morning and not Troy? I know this has probably got to do with stuff that I don't know about, but there are so many unanswered questions. Aren't we at least entitled to answers to a few of them? I don't know about you, but you're hurting him, Gabi. As his big brother it's my job to look out for him. Please just let him know that you're ok. That's not too much to ask for, is it?"

Kevin had obviously called back. I briefly thought about what he'd said to me. I was hurting myself too, but he was right. As Troy's big brother he had to look after him, and if I got in the way of that, even if I was one of his best friends, that wouldn't stop him from removing my head from my shoulders. It was just like my big brothers.

It was on to the last message.

"Hi, it's me again. Your phone obviously still isn't on. I thought it might not be. Do you know what this feels like to me? It feels like you've ripped my heart from my body, using a blunt knife to cut into me. Are you dead? If you are can I just curl up and join you? I don't want to carry on if you're not there with me. Please I'm begging you, Brie, call me, isn't that the least that you owe me? Please."

I was aware of tears streaming down my cheeks at the end of that message. The effect that his voice had on me was incredible. I knew that it would be hard to talk to him again, but I had to do it.

I almost jumped out of my skin when my phone rang in my hand. In my unshielded state of mind I didn't think to look at the caller ID before I accepted the call and put the phone to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Gabi? Is that you?" It was Jason on the other end. I fought a short battle in my head before deciding that I would talk to him. "Have I really managed to get through to you?"

"No, this is my answering machine."

"Oh…but…wait a minute…it's not a machine. It's you! It's really you!"

"Yes, I know it's me."

"Gabi, where are you?"

"Somewhere safe."

"But where?"

"I'm not telling you, Jason, so get over it."

"Ok," he answered, sounding slightly hurt. I'd have to make it back up to him later on. "Well, are you safe? Are you ok?"

"I'm very safe and I'm perfectly ok."

"Why did you leave?"

"Ask Troy, he knows."

"He doesn't seem to."

"Believe me, he does."

"You know that you're hurting him?"

"Me hurting him?!" I snorted. "Well, what the hell did he do to me then?"

"I don't know, you won't tell me!"

"I have to go now Jason. I'll talk to you later," I said before hanging up on him.

I knew what I needed to do. But I couldn't face it right then. I decided to call Kelsi instead and let her know that I would call Troy in the morning.

I dialed the familiar numbers and let the phone ring.

"HI, this is Kelsi. I can't take your call right now, but leave your name and number and I'll get back to you as soon as I can."

It was the answering machine. Trust Kelsi to choose to go out just before I chose to call her.

"Hey Kelsi, it's me. Sorry I had my cell off the other day. I was straightening myself out. I'm gonna crinkle myself up again though. I've decided it's time to call him. I just wanted to thank you for everything you've done. I know it couldn't have been easy for you, lying to him and all. I'm forever in your debt. Talk to you later."

I'd done it now. I'd promised to call him in the morning. There wasn't very much I could do other than curl up under my duvet and prepare myself for the next morning.


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

When I woke up the next morning, I had a sense of dread ruling in my stomach. It wasn't even butterflies anymore. It felt like my whole stomach was being eaten by a pack of ravenous wolves. I sat cross-legged on my bed covers, my back leaning against the wall, just staring down at my phone for half an hour before I plucked up the courage to pick it up and punch in the numbers to the house where most of my belongings were still residing. Even when I'd taken so long to prepare myself to call him, I knew I hadn't prepared myself for him answering. I realized that I would just have to say whatever came to me at the time. It was useless preparing a script for the occasion. It's not like I would have been able to remember it to keep to it anyway.

The dull ring sounded for several minutes without anyone picking it up. I was confused. Where was he? He should have been at home. I couldn't understand it. He was home most weekends, where would he be? Trust Troy to choose to go out just when I was trying to call him. And so, I decided to try calling Kelsi instead.

"Hello?" she asked on the first ring, her voice was trembling slightly as though she'd spent a restless night. I imagined her eyes as being filled with torment at that time.

"Kelsi, what's up? I asked carefully, sensing that I needed to tread warily.

"Gabi, he flipped on me," she stated bluntly, almost as though she didn't care.

"Why? Why would he flip on you?" There was no need for her to say who had flipped on her; that went unsaid.

"He found out, Gabi…" Her voice trailed off at the end and I thought I heard a muffled sob.

"What? How?" I demanded, lost now. How had he found out anything about anything? I was astounded that he had flipped on her if he had found out; although, when I thought about it, that did spell Troy pretty well. He was useless at covering his pain and anger. Any other emotion, he could cover it up, but not pain or anger. They were too strong for him.

"Your message."

"Oh shit," I said quietly into the receiver. I hadn't even considered the possibility that my message could have been the thing that had set him off. I was such an idiot! "God, I didn't think that he would hear it. I'm so sorry Kelsi; it's all my fault! What happened? I need to know."

"I was out with him yesterday and when we got back here there was a message on the machine. I didn't think it would be from you." She gave a short, humorless laugh before continuing. "Hell, I didn't even stop to consider the idea that it could have been from you. So I just pushed the button and it was your voice that spoke. It was too late then…I couldn't stop it; I couldn't turn the machine off. I only managed to stare at it, dumbstruck, and he found out." I was pretty sure she was close to tears again now, her voice kept breaking.

"Kelsi, what happened? Tell me everything that went on. Did he hit you?" The idea that he could have hit her filled me with an unbelievable rage. I wasn't sure whether he would have or not, it would have depended on his mood. He'd never hit me. I still held faith in him; I doubted he'd have hit her hard. But the slightest tap was too much.

"No, he didn't hit me. But he cried. He yelled at me, calling me every name he could think of. I could see all those tears in his eyes, aching to be allowed to fall, but he didn't let them until the end. They just kept building up and building up. He was so strong, whereas I just broke down at his first words!" She took a moment to catch herself, taking a few deep breaths, before continuing. "Basically, he told me I am the lowest person he knows and asked how I could keep this from him. Then the tears started falling and he left the house, slamming the door on his way out."

"But he didn't hit you?" I asked, just to reassure myself.

"No. But it gets worse than that."

"What?" I asked, not wanting to hear the answer to that question.

"I don't know where he is. He's not at home and he isn't picking up his cell." Her voice had dropped to a low whisper, forcing me to strain my ears just to hear her words.

"I know he isn't at home, and his cell is never turned on. There's not much point in trying to get hold of him on that." I waved this supposedly new information off like it was old news everyone knew about.

"How do you know that he's not home?" she asked suspiciously.

"I tried to call him about five minutes before I called you."

"Really? I thought you'd never call him…too much other, more important stuff taking up your time." She sounded almost poisonous when she said those words. I knew that I'd neglected calling him, but I hadn't been ready. I still doubted that I was ready, but I didn't' have any time left on my hands. Too much had happened in the past few days. I couldn't put off contacting him any longer, and I damn well knew it.

"No, I knew that I had to talk to him. Plus I made a mistake…"

"What? What did you do?"

"I used the card to our joint account at the mall. He'll get the bill and he'll know where I am," I explained, simple as that.

"Oh, that was intelligent. I can tell that you were really thinking when you did that," she said sarcastically in a biting way. Ouch.

"Yeah, I know. But anyway, I'm going to go and try and get hold of him."

"Good luck."

"Thanks, I'll probably need it."

She laughed slightly, which I took as a good sign. She seemed to be perking up, at least.

"Yeah, whatever. I'll talk to you later. I need to go and clean myself up and get several cups of coffee in me."

"You go do that, Kelsi. Bye." I hung up on her.

Well, he wasn't at home, and he wasn't at Kelsi's, so where else could he be? I thought of the places he would go if we fought and he needed to talk to someone, or if he needed to just hang out and be a guy…

I slapped a hand to my head and muttered a couple of curses under my breath. What sort of an idiot was I? Kevin's! It was likely that he'd be there, otherwise after that, I didn't know. I hoped he would be there. Against what I actually wanted to feel, deep down inside, I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to get everything out in the open, to sort everything out. I couldn't hover in the midst of not knowing anymore. I had to know.

I flicked through to Kevin's number and pressed dial, hoping that he'd be there and I'd be able to explain a certain number of things to him.

"Hello?" Kevin's voice asked as he answered the phone several rings in.

"Hey." I sighed. He must have placed his hand over the receiver after that because his voice became muffled and it was hard for me to pick out his next words.

"I'll be back in a moment." He crackled.

I heard a door open and then swing closed again in the background. Well, there was definitely someone there with him, the question was who. I didn't need to wonder; my gut feeling already let me know just whom it was.

"Gabi!" he hissed at me, sounding like a ticked off snake. "Where the hell are you?"

"Somewhere where I feel safe." I answered simply, not betraying any emotion in my voice. I'd learned to keep my voice emotionless at times like these. Plus, this was Kevin I was talking to. I needed to be careful. I needed to keep my mind's shields up, guard myself from the enticing bitter sweetness of his voice, begging me to answer his questions truthfully. I snapped out of it, fueling my shields even more.

"Gabi!" he repeated angrily. "That's not an answer!"

"Well, it's the best you're getting from me, so don't try to push it."

"Well, why did you leave then?" He was starting to sound exasperated and I knew for a fact that he was pacing whichever room he was in. "I don't even know where to start with you!"

"Is Troy there?" I asked, ignoring his question.

"Yeah, actually, he is! He's out there in my living room wondering where the hell you are. So in a couple of minutes when you've answered my questions, I'll go out there and hand the phone over to him. How does that sound to you?"

"That sounds perfect, except for one bit."

"Which?"

"The bit about me answering your questions. I just want to talk to Troy and try to straighten everything out. Please Kevin. Troy's not the only one hurting here. I need to talk to him." Much to my disgust, I realized that I was pleading with him. I'd never have thought I would stoop to such a level.

"Alright, but one question: why did you send the ring back? Are you afraid of commitment or something?"

"Kevin!" I shouted at him, beginning to get annoyed with the man.

"Gabi!" he hissed straight back at me.

"Give the god damn phone to your brother!" I yelled, losing whatever patience I'd been left with.

"Oh ok, I'll hand you over to him," he said, sounding rather defeated…a balloon deflating its air slowly forcing its way out of the rubber prison. I almost felt sorry for him until I remembered that very bad act of a counselor that he'd had on before. The door opened again and his voice quite clearly rang out, telling Troy that the phone call was for him.

"Hello?" his beautiful, soft voice asked, sounding rather confused. After all, who would be calling him at his brother's house? His voice sounded more than just confused, it was tired and irritated too…Mad at the world. Not that I could blame Him. I couldn't have sounded much better than that. The sound of his voice had a stunning effect on me. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't even think of anything remotely intelligent to say to him!

There was a short silence before I collected myself enough to manage to get out a one -syllable word.

"Troy," I replied, his name being the only thing I could think of to say.

"Brie? Is that you?" His voice seemed to become so much more alive with the sound of my one word. Hope filled it, taking despair's place.

"Yes."

"Is it really you?"

"Yes, it's really me." I told him almost gently.

"Where are you?"

God, I was beginning to get tired of that question.

"I'm somewhere safe."

"But where is that?" he begged me. I was so thankful that I couldn't see his eyes at that precise moment. If he'd been looking at me, I'd never have been able to keep secrets from him.

"Let's talk about us first and then we'll see whether or not I'll tell you."

"No, tell me now! I need to know! You've put me through Hell. I have to see you! Please...Brie, please." His voice cracked. I didn't like the sound of that.

At that point my bedroom door flew open and Laura flounced in, obviously full of energy, the exact opposite of myself.

"Hello, Gabi!" she said loudly. "Oh, whoops, you're on the phone!"

"Yes, I am, please shut up now."

"Okie dokie then! Do you know where Paul is?" she asked very loudly.

Shit.

"You're at Pual's?" Troy's voice asked in surprise from the other end of the line.

"No."

"You're in Albuquerque?" He sounded even more surprised now, if that was actually possible. Personally, I'd have thought it would have been his first thought when I'd disappeared. After all, why wouldn't I have gone home? Then again, it was the pain of home that kept me away. So maybe he had considered the idea and then just waved it off as stupid.

"No…" I repeated. I can't have sounded very convincing though. This was all going wrong! I wanted to rewind time and do it over again. Except, in take two, Laura would not enter my bedroom, she would not say anything about Paul, and Troy and I would have an almost civil conversation about where our future lay.

But that was in take two. Take one was the one that was actually happening…the one that had gone wrong. I couldn't get a grasp on reality, I was far too shocked. I was rendered speechless.

"Stay where you are. I love you," he told me, his words rushed.

"No, wait, Troy!" I practically shouted at him but he'd hung up, and all I was greeted with was the dial tone.

I tried to ring Kevin again but didn't get anything. I tried Kelsi but she wasn't there either. No one was picking their phone up. Oh God, this was going so badly wrong.

Paul arrived back at the house shortly after that, having brought Jerry and Oliver with him. There wasn't very much I could do, other than wait to see what would happen. I was filled with dread every time I thought about where he was, what he was doing. Part of me was screaming at the other part to listen to it and get away from my brother's house. It wanted me to go into hiding again. The other part wanted me to confront Troy, to get this whole ordeal over with. I couldn't stay suspended in the unknown any longer.

The five of us collapsed in front of the television and watched movie after movie. Usually, I enjoyed movie fests, but that day I couldn't really get into the films. I wanted to know where Troy was, not who could possibly have killed Pamela Rose or whatever her name was.

At six o'clock, Laura was the first of us to get up and leave. She had to go back home to get ready for work the next day. About half an hour later, during the middle of a particularly boring movie, I got up and retreated to my bedroom, leaving Paul, Jerry and Oliver in the lounge, eyes glued to the screen in true male fashion.

Around quarter past seven, the doorbell rang. I didn't think too much of it at first, I was too busy wondering where Troy had gotten to to be bothered about it. Then the sound of hushed voices came floating down the hall and into my room through the almost closed door.

Something wasn't quite right with this picture.

I stood up and walked into the hallway, my mind racing all the while. What was going on? Who had been at the door? Why were they talking in whispers? All of my questions went unanswered, but at the back of my mind I knew the answers to each and every one of the questions. They were all there, flitting through my mind. However, I didn't want to admit that to myself.

I stayed in the hallway for a while, just listening to the voices. It was mostly Paul doing the talking, then someone else would respond, but their voice was lowered to such a quiet volume that I couldn't pick out any of what they were saying, and I couldn't tell whom the voice belonged to, though I had a suspicion.

I stepped out of my hiding place in the shadows and moved into the lounge doorway. They were standing there…all three of them, oblivious to my presence but meters away from them.

It was Kelsi who caught sight of me first. Her eyes widened when she saw me, her look disbelieving. I could tell that she wanted to run and wrap me in a hug, but didn't want to call the attention of everyone in the room to my being there, immobile in the doorframe.

So, she took her only other choice and stood there, just staring at me, studying me, picking out all the tiny details about me that had changed within her two weeks away from me.

Soon enough, Kevin caught sight of Kelsi's eyes being focused on something else and turned his gaze in my direction. His jaw slackened which immediately alerted Troy that something was happening behind him.

Everything turned to slow motion as he turned around. What must have been a second or two in reality was more like a minute in mine. And then he was looking at me. Big blue eyes studying me, full of pain and sorrow.

He didn't smile, or wave, or come up to me and envelope me in his arms. Instead he just stood there, taking me in, making sure that I was real and not just a figment of his imagination.

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and could see those swimming in his.

But, like him, I didn't smile, or wave, or go up to him and wrap my arms around him.

We both just stood there, watching each other.

I was vaguely aware of everyone leaving the room, leaving me alone with Troy.

And then it was just him and me.


	14. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

It felt like hours had passed before I finally got the courage to speak. We had just stood there, taking in the sight of each other.

"What are you doing here?" I asked quietly, truly wondering why he would come after me if everything he had wanted was back in Florida. I mean, he had a new girl so what could he possibly want me for?

"What do you mean 'what am I doing here'? I'm here to take the love of my life back to Florida where she belongs…with me…and to figure out why she left in the first place."

I was shocked by this. Love of his life? He still loved me? "I…I...I don't understand," I stuttered.

"What's not to understand?" Troy began closing the distance between us until he came to a stop about three feet away. "I came to take you home and to get some questions answered. Like why did you leave? And why did you send me back your engagement ring? Do you realize how bad it hurt to find that you never returned from shopping? I thought you were dead or in some horrible situation. I kept picturing the worst case scenario on what could have happened to you and with each scenario my heart broke into a tinier piece. Then I received your ring in the mail. That was almost the end of me!" By the end of Troy's rant, his voice had raised to yelling.

"How bad it hurt you? How about how bad it hurt me? How do you think it felt to have a woman calling for your fiancé constantly? How do you think it felt to have your fiancé stop sharing a bed with you, knowing that he was at least flirting with another woman constantly during phone conversations, if not satisfying his needs with her also? And how do you think it felt to see your fiancé kissing another woman in the house that you shared with him for two years? Huh? How do you think that felt?!"

By this point I had tears flowing freely down my cheeks. I was outraged. How dare he march in here and accuse me of breaking his heart when he brought it all upon himself?

I looked up at Troy's face to see a shocked expression. "You saw that kiss? But wait…I thought you went shopping. Were you spying on me?" One look into his eyes showed that he was really starting to get mad.

"No, I wasn't spying on you," I said quietly as I walked toward the couch. I sat down and played with my hands in my lap. A few moments later I felt the couch shift beside me and looked over to see Troy looking at me, signaling for me to continue. "When that woman called and I heard her giggle, making me realize it was a woman, curiosity got the better of me. I stayed on the line, even though you thought I hung up, and listened for a few minutes. All I heard was you two flirting back and forth. But that's all it took for me to realize that we were basically over with. Ever since you proposed, we seemed to have begun to drift farther and farther apart. More intimate moments between the two of us suddenly became fewer and farther between until finally they stopped. That was also when you moved into the guest bedroom. What little time we did spend together seemed to be filled with me always saying or doing the wrong thing, resulting in you getting upset with me. So when I heard you flirting with her, I just figured I would make it easier on you. Why go behind my back when you could have her freely without worrying about getting caught? That's when I decided to leave. I was just going to act like I was going to the store but then you said you wanted headache medicine. So I went and got the medicine and brought it back, with every intention of leaving again afterwards. But that's when I pulled up in the driveway and noticed that my parking spot had been taken. I looked toward the house and that's when I saw the two of you. I saw your shadows in the window. I knew it was over between us so I just left." After telling Troy all of this, I kept my focus on my lap, not wanting to look at him.

It was silent for a few seconds before I felt Troy's hand on my chin, pulling my face to look up at him. That's when I noticed he had tears freely running down his face.

"I'm sorry you ever doubted my love for you. But you have to know that nothing was ever going on between us. What you saw was her trying and failing to get back together with me." Troy closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them back up and beginning again. "Viviane is an ex-girlfriend. We dated back in high school. After we broke up, we lost contact…up until a couple of months ago, not long after I proposed to you. She had just moved back into town and looked me up. We got together a couple of times for coffee just catching up on old times. Then she asked if I could help her with her music career and help her get it started. I agreed, and we started seeing each other more often. We were seeing each other at least two or three times a week."

"Why didn't you tell me about her? Why did you feel the need to keep your meetings a secret?"

"Well at first it wasn't so much that I wanted to hide the fact that I was helping her, I just wasn't sure how you would react to me getting together with an old girlfriend. But then, things started getting complicated. I started asking myself 'what if we had never broke up?' And then the more time we spent together, the more old feelings began to resurface, leaving me confused about what I was truly feeling. That day when you saw her kiss me, that was her trying to get back together with me. She wanted to just pick up where we left off. But as soon as she began kissing me, I pushed her away. I told her that I couldn't do it. My true feelings were shown to me at that moment. I knew that I would never want to be with her and I only wanted to be with you. I told her that."

"But that still doesn't answer the question of why you moved into the guest bedroom."

"I didn't want to hurt you. I was so confused about what I was feeling at the time. I wanted to work out my feelings before I made a permanent decision on how things were going to go. At the time, I thought I was feeling things for two different women. I was badly mistaken though. I just wanted to distance myself from you while I tried to figure out what I wanted. I never meant to hurt you. I was trying to prevent that, but ended up doing so anyways."

We sat there in silence for a few minutes just taking in everything we had told each other. I still had so many questions, though.

"What happened to the trust we had in our relationship? I thought we knew we could tell each other anything," I said, as Troy reached over and interlaced our hands.

"Obviously we both forgot. If I could go back, I would have told you everything from the beginning. I regret everything about how I handled the situation. Honestly, I was going to tell you, though…that night after you got back from the store. Except, you never came back. I had it all planned out. I just wanted to be honest with you and tell you everything that had went on and reassure you of the love I have for you because I knew that I hadn't been showing it very well over the past couple of months. But you never came back."

"I just thought that you didn't want me anymore. We never spent any time together. You were always either at work or you would find something to busy yourself with. And even when I did try to spend time with you or even talk to you, you would just push me away or say a snappy remark to me. I just thought I was making it easier on you so you could be with the woman who actually seemed to be making you happy at the moment."

"Brie, if that were true, I wouldn't have been sitting at home for the past two weeks desperately trying to find a reason not to kill myself."

At this confession, I gasped. I couldn't believe he had actually thought about killing himself. Troy continued.

"Brie, I admit that when you didn't come home that first night, I was angry. I thought you had just gone out with some friends and hadn't bothered to call and tell me where you were. But the longer you were gone, the more worried I became. All these bad thoughts came into my mind. Were you kidnapped? Were you murdered? What happened to you? I just kept thinking the worst and couldn't help but think that if I couldn't have the one person who I desperately wanted by my side, what reason did I have to continue living?"

"Didn't Kevin tell you I was ok?"

"Yeah, he did. But that still didn't explain to me why you left or where you were. It wasn't enough. I needed to hear it from you to believe it. That's why I wrote you that song when I couldn't find you. Did you hear it?"

I nodded, tears coming back to my eyes as I thought of him on TV, telling me in front of the whole world that he wanted me to come home.

"I was afraid. I didn't know what to do. I still hadn't figured everything out here yet and I was still so confused. I loved you so much and part of me wanted to run back to you. But the other part of me kept telling me that even though you said you loved me, you had betrayed me so I shouldn't believe you."

"I do still love you. So much that it hurts. But the question is: do you still love me?"

I looked into Troy's eyes and saw honesty, but most of all love, fear, and hurt.

"Yes. I never stopped," I whispered, looking deeply into his bright blue eyes.

Troy let out a breath of relief and a sob he had been holding back. He grabbed both of my hands in his and looked into my eyes again.

"Well then I guess the next question is will you please…come back home?" Troy looked at me, pleading with me to go back to Florida. I couldn't look into his eyes. I wasn't ready.

"I can't, Troy."

"What? Why?" he asked, desperation in his voice.

"I'm not ready."

"What do you mean you're not ready? What are you waiting for?"

"I still need to sort through some things. It took a lot to come back here after everything that has happened, causing me to leave in the first place. I'm slowly healing. But I need to be assured that things are ok before I leave again, not just here, but in Florida too."

"Well how long is that going to take? I have a recording to do the day after tomorrow."

"Then go back," I said, as if it was the most obvious thing.

"No, I don't want to leave without you. Please don't make me leave without you," Troy said, his voice cracking as he pleaded with me.

"Troy, it's the only way. I need time to heal. When I'm ready, I'll let you know. But you need to give me time."

Troy took hold of me and brought be into an embrace for the first time since he arrived. "Please promise you'll come back to me. I can't live my life without you. I need you with me." He was softly crying again as he spoke. It was the first time since I had known him that I had seen him so broken.

"I can't promise you that. I love you, Troy, so much. But I just need some time to think things through."

"Just remember to not doubt my love for you then."

All I could do was nod as tears came to my eyes once again.

Troy, Kevin, and Kelsi stayed the night and left early the next morning. Paul looked at me questioningly as they left, still wanting an explanation of what had went on between Troy and I the night before.

I sat down with Paul and explained everything from my and Troy's conversation.

"I still need to sort through some things. I think things are ok now here in Albuquerque as far as me feeling safe to come back here. But I was hurt badly in Florida and even though Troy has explained the truth about everything and has apologized for hurting me, it still hurts."

Paul nodded. "Take your time. You're welcome to stay here as long as you like. You know that."

I nodded and got up from the couch to go to my bedroom, thinking about everything that Troy had confessed to me.

I knew Troy loved me, but I was still afraid that one day another woman could walk into his life and he would again doubt how much he actually loved me. I don't think I could stand to lose him again. But if I went back, where would that leave us? Do we start over from the beginning or pick up where we left off? My mind kept throwing more questions out that I didn't have answers to, leaving me more confused than I was to begin with.

A few days passed and I had finally made my decision on what I wanted to do. I wanted to stop running away from my problems. I wanted to learn to face them without always fearing that I'm going to get hurt. That's when I realized that Troy and I needed to be apart for a while. I was still in love with him, but I still couldn't find it in me to put my complete trust in him, and I didn't think he deserved that. He deserved someone who would stand by him and put complete trust and faith into the relationship.

So, I decided, after talking to Laura, that I would move back to Albuquerque. We had discussed me moving back in with her just like old times.

The next day as I sit in my car nearing Troy's house, I can't help but be nervous. I hadn't talked to Troy yet today, so he had no clue I was on my way. I didn't want to tell him over the phone that I was moving out, giving him an opportunity to try and talk me out of it, though I know he probably will try that when I actually see him. I also didn't want to just tell him I was coming back because I figured that would probably make him get his hopes up.

After pulling into my spot in the driveway next to his car, I slowly got out and walked toward the front door of his house, nerves beginning to multiply the closer I came to seeing Troy again.

I used my key and opened the front door only to be greeted with silence. Was he even here? I shut the door quietly before walking through the house. I checked all the rooms except the bedrooms. I then checked the guest room and found that there was no trace of him having been in there. Finally, I went into what was once our bedroom.

He was there, asleep on the bed. I could see he was hugging my pillow to him. I stood there for a few minutes just watching him sleep. I decided I would go ahead and quietly start packing some of my things while he slept. I began pulling my bags out of the closet and neatly putting things into them, careful not to wake him.

After about 30 minutes of packing, I was in the closet trying to get things off of the top shelf. I lost my grip on a box of my stuff and it all went tumbling to the floor.

'Shit,' I thought as I quickly peeked out of the closet to see if I had woke Troy up.

Troy's POV

I had been peacefully sleeping when a loud crash sounded. My eyes quickly shot open, trying to determine where it came from. Then I saw that it was only Brie in our closet. I shut my eyes again as a smile came to my face.

'Brie's home. Does she have to make so much noise though?' I thought. 'Wait…Brie's home…Brie's home!'

I sat up straight in bed as I saw her come walking out of the closet carrying a small box that looked to be full of some of her things. 'What is she doing?'

Gabi's POV

As I walked out of the closet I saw Troy sit straight up in bed. He must have just realized that I was home. Suddenly I felt two arms wrap around me from behind and a nose nuzzle in my hair. I couldn't stay like this for long…it would only make it harder.

"I missed you," he said, as he continued to embrace me from behind. He turned me around so that I was facing him, and then looked over my shoulder at my packed bags. "What are you doing?"

He had a nervous expression on his face as he waited for me to answer. "Troy, we need to talk."

"Brie, you're scaring me. I don't like the sound of this, or the look of where it is going," he said, as I led him over to sit on the end of the bed.

"Troy, I have been thinking about us and our relationship constantly for the past few days and I can't help but be completely confused by it all. There are so many things that I don't understand and so many questions that I can't answer."

"Then let me help you."

"Honestly, I don't think you can. Troy, as I was sitting in Albuquerque thinking about coming back to you, I couldn't help but feel that I can't trust you anymore."

"What do I have to do to prove to you that you can trust me?"

"Just give me time. I know that I asked that of you a few days ago, but I just don't think it would be smart to jump back into a relationship when I don't even feel like I can put complete trust in you. It wouldn't be fair to either one of us."

"So…what does this mean for us?"

"Troy, I'll be completely honest. I still love you, so very much. But I think that, at least for now, we should just be friends. I've talked to Laura. I'm moving back in with her."

"You're going all the way back to Albuquerque?"

"Yeah…I think that it's the best choice right now," I said, as I got up to finish packing my things.


	15. Chapter 14

**Sorry about the delay. Between starting school again and getting sick, I haven't had much time to get any writing done. I hope you enjoy this chapter. My next chapter will be the epilogue, so my story is coming to a close. I hope you have enjoyed reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it. I'll try to get the epilogue up as soon as possible. Thanks for being patient.**

6 Months Later:

I had moved back to Albuquerque, and now lived with Laura. Troy had stayed in Florida and continued his music career. Over the past six months, we had grown apart. We tried staying in contact for the first couple of months we were apart. But as the days and weeks wore on, we found it was becoming harder and harder. Our schedules kept getting in the way or I would find it difficult even thinking about talking to him, knowing we were no longer together. To put it simply: I missed him.

Now six months after our breakup, I sat at home alone, thinking about Troy. I had just seen an update on TV about him, as he was currently finishing up his latest tour with his band.

I was starting to feel lonely, as Laura was out with some friends enjoying her evening, so I decided to call Kelsi. We had kept in contact since I left and talked regularly.

We had been talking for a few minutes, catching up on things that had happened in the few days since we had last talked.

Suddenly, Kelsi stopped. "He misses you, you know? You're all he talks about. He hasn't even looked at another girl since you left."

This declaration caught me off guard and I was left speechless for a brief moment.

When I got my voice back, I found myself responding, "I miss him, too."

"Then come back," Kelsi said, pleading with me to act upon my feelings that she knew were still there.

I thought about this for a moment. I missed him so much, and I still loved him. Questions kept going through my head, causing me to be hesitant about the decision. But for once, I ignored my head and went with my heart.

"When does he get back from his tour?" I heard myself ask, surprising myself by taking a risk without thinking about it much.

"The 27th of this month," Kelsi responded, excitement sounding in her voice at the prospect of me returning.

Two weeks. I decided to voice my doubts to Kelsi, still a little unsure about what to do. "What if I get there and he doesn't want me back or his feelings have changed or he found someone while away on his tour?"

"I'm sure any of those suggests are not going to happen. He's still in love with you, and I'm no sure if he will ever stop." She paused. "What are you going to do, Gabi?"

Without any other thoughts, I responded. "I'm coming back."

Over the next week, I packed my things in my car, excited to get back. I wanted to get back to Florida before Troy did so I could surprise him.

When I got back to Florida, I first went to see Kelsi and enjoyed a little time with her. She gave me the key she had to Troy's house since I had given mine back when I moved to Albuquerque.

I drove to Troy's house and let myself in, relishing in the feeling of finally being back after missing it for so long. I missed the smell of him, and the feeling of having him so close…if only I didn't have to wait so long for him to be standing in my presence.

I still had five days before Troy would be back, so I didn't rush to unpack the few things that I had decided to move on in. I had left most of my things at Kelsi's in case he decided he didn't want me to move back in. Kelsi and I had also decided that on the day Troy was to arrive back, I would leave my car at her house so that he wouldn't know I was there until he came inside and I surprised him.

On Tuesday morning, the day Troy was to arrive, I got a call from Kelsi. Troy had called her to let her know he would be back in town by that evening. I wanted to give him a big surprise, so I decided to cook him dinner and have it waiting when he got home. I spent most of the afternoon cooking and by 6:00, I had dinner ready, complete with a candlelit table. I turned off all the lights in the house and waited at the table, dressed in a new short black dress.

At 6:10, I heard Troy drive up out front. I quickly lit the candles and tried to wait patiently for him to come in. A few minutes later, he came through the front door, but my worst fears were coming true. He had a woman with him.

When he walked into the dining room, he stopped as soon as he saw the table and me. I looked back and forth between him and the blonde woman standing behind him. I wasn't sure what to say so I just stood there. He was the first to speak up.

"Brie? What are you doing here?"

"This was a mistake," I said, still looking back and forth between the two of them as I started to walk out of the room.

"No. This seriously isn't what it looks like," Troy said, as he grabbed my hand as I walked by. I tried to pry my hand from his grasp, but he was too strong. "Brie, please don't go. I really need to talk to you." He turned around and looked at the other woman. "Stacy, can I show you that song later?"

"Sure. Wait…this is Brie? As in Brie, None the Richer?"

I was shocked by her question. So he had talked about me? She knew about me?

"Yeah," I heard Troy replying quietly, before turning back to face me. "Brie, this is my cousin, Stacy. She's been helping me with my music."

I waved slightly, embarrassed for jumping to conclusions. Stacy excused herself and left.

Troy turned back to me. "So what _are _you doing here?" he stuttered, then quickly corrected himself. "Not that I don't want you here, I-I'm just surprised."

I could tell he was nervous and giggled at him. "Well, you see…I was kinda wanting your opinion on something."

Troy looked at me, slightly confused. "You came back all this way for my opinion?"

"No, not entirely." Troy looked at me, even more confused. "So…I came here because there's this guy…"

Troy's face fell. I noticed his reaction, but continued anyway. "I have feelings for him, but I'm not sure that he returns those feelings. I moved back into his house, but he doesn't know that yet."

Troy nodded, but wouldn't look at me. "So…why do you need my opinion?" he asked, his voice strained.

I stepped forward and put my arms around his neck. "I need you to tell me if he returns those feelings or if I made a mistake and should return to Albuquerque."

"But how…," Troy started, then stopped as a look of realization came on his face. "You mean…you still have feelings for me?"

I nodded. "Not just any feelings, though," I said quietly. "I love you."

"You still love me?" He asked just as quietly.

"With all my heart," I said, looking up into his bright blue eyes.

When I looked into his eyes, I saw him searching mine. Then, I saw confusion, then realization as he started to realize exactly what I had just said. "Wait…so that means…you moved back in?"

I nodded, suddenly getting nervous. I felt Troy's fingers on my chin as he pulled my face to look at him. I noticed he now had tears in his eyes and he was smiling at me.

"You have just made me the happiest man alive. I've missed you so much. I love you."

"I've missed you and I love you, too. I'm sorry it took this long to realize that."

"That doesn't matter. All that matters right now is that you're here with me and we have no one to bother us," he said as he showed me he was shutting his phone off. He walked over and unplugged the house phone also.

"Did you have something in mind, Mr. Bolton?" I said, an innocent smile on my face.

Troy smirked at me. "Oh, I think you know what I have in mind, Ms. Montez."

Troy grabbed me and started to pull me towards the bedroom, but I resisted. He turned around to look at me and gave me a look of confusion.

"As wonderful as that sounds, I think it should wait, Troy."

"Why?" he asked, frowning.

"Well, I did slave over the stove for most of the afternoon in hopes of preparing you a dinner that you would enjoy. I would hate for it to go to waste," I said, as Troy looked at the table for the first time, noticing all the preparations I had made in surprise to him.

"Wow, you did go all out. You didn't have to do that, Brie. You being here was enough."

"Yeah, well, I wanted your homecoming to be special. Plus, this gives us a chance to talk," I said, as Troy pulled out my chair for me to sit down. He took the seat next to mine.

"Talk? What do you want to talk about?"

"Troy, there is a lot to talk about. We can't avoid what happened six months ago, or the fact that we haven't seen each other and have barely spoken within those six months."

"You're right…I'm sorry."

After that we proceeded to fill each other in on what had happened since we last saw each other as we ate our dinner. I found myself realizing how much I had missed all the little things about him. Like how he smiles or how he looks directly in my eyes when I'm talking to let me know he is listening or how his love for me radiates out of him through his eyes.

We talked for the rest of the evening. There was so much that needed to be discussed, yet we knew we couldn't discuss it all in one evening.

Later that night, we headed to the bedroom that we now shared again. It felt weird sharing a bed with him again, but it felt right. We laid there, holding each other in an embrace, silence overtaking the room.

After several minutes, Troy spoke up. "Brie?"

"Hmm?" I answered, only half awake.

"I love you," he whispered.

I smiled. "I love you, too," I whispered back, before opening my eyes to look up at him.

He leaned down and kissed me, then pulled back and stared at me.

"What?" I asked, confused by the look on his face and wondering why he was staring at me like that.

"Nothing…you're just so beautiful and I have missed seeing you every day. Promise me you won't leave me," he said, slight pleading in his voice.

"Troy, I have missed seeing you, too. But I can't promise you I won't leave you. I really want to say that I won't, but what happened six months ago is proof that things can happen, even to those who think that things are going fine."

"I promise that nothing like that will ever come between us again. And I promise to be honest with you from now on. No more secrets."

"You don't have to tell me everything, but if something big happens that could come in the way of us, we do need to discuss it."

"I know. Well I do have something big I need to discuss with you."

"Already? Troy, can it wait until tomorrow? I think I've had all the talking I can handle for one evening," I said, yawning.

"Well I guess it could, but I really don't want it to," he said, looking deep into my eyes, showing me he was completely serious about this.

I saw the seriousness and was fully awake. Obviously it was something important and I was suddenly curious to find out.

"Ok. Well then, let's talk," I said, sitting up more in bed.

Troy moved to sit up also and leaned back against the headboard before taking my hand in his and looking at me. "Brie, I have been thinking about this since you left, and I almost got on a plane and flew to Albuquerque to talk to you. But I knew you wanted your space and I didn't want to pressure you."

I nodded. "Ok…"

"Brie, I still love you, so much. I wished every day that you were gone that you were still mine. And now that you're back, I still wish that."

"I am yours, Troy," I said, squeezing his hand.

Troy smiled. "I know that now, and when I saw you today I was so relieved to finally have you back. It scared me when you saw Stacy and thought she was my girlfriend and tried to leave. I was determined that now that I had you back in my house…our house…I wasn't going to let you leave until we at least got the chance to talk." He paused, rubbing his thumb lightly over my hand. "Brie, what I'm trying to say is that I don't ever want there to be a chance of having to let you go. I had to do that once…well, twice…and it about killed me to watch you walk out of my life that second time, knowing I had screwed up the best thing that had ever happened to me."

"Troy, where are you going with this?" I asked, curious why he was telling me things he had already told me.

"Brie, what I'm trying to say is that I love you more than anything else in this world and I would do anything to make sure you stay in my life. But I'm wondering…would you do the same?"

"Of course. I love you, too. But we've already had this discussion. We can't guarantee anything, Troy. You know that. But I'm willing to do what I can to make this work this time."

"Good. Then I have one more question for you. Brie, will you spend the rest of your life with me? Will you marry me?" he asked, pulling a ring box out of the drawer by the bed.

I couldn't believe it. I had hoped that one day he would propose again, but I hadn't been prepared for him to do it so soon. "Troy, are you sure? I mean we've only been back together for a few hours. Don't you think it's too soon?"

Hurt passed on Troy's features. "Brie, I'm absolutely sure. I know we just got back together, but I also know I have never loved you more and I know for a fact that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I'll understand if you're not sure yet and you want me to wait, or even if you want me to do it in a more romantic setting. I mean I know this is nothing compared to the sunrise…" Troy trailed off and started to put the ring away.

"Wait, Troy." I grabbed his arm as he was reaching for the drawer. He paused and looked at me, waiting for me to explain. "I don't really care if the proposal is in a romantic setting. All that needs to be there is you and me and your question. And I don't want you to wait and I know that I'm sure I want to marry you. So my answer is yes. I'll marry you."

Troy grinned, his smile filling his whole face as he brought the ring back over to me. He opened it up and took the ring out. But as he was trying to put the ring on my finger, I jerked my hand back.

He looked up at me, frowning. "What's wrong?"

"Where's _my_ ring?"

"This is your ring. I got you a new one. I wasn't sure you would want the old one back."

"I want the old one back. That was my ring. That was the one you first gave me to prove your love. Not that I don't like this one…I just prefer the other one."

Troy nodded and leaned back to the drawer to pull out my first ring. I smiled when I saw the box. He pulled the ring out and placed it gently on my finger. "Finally," he said. "Back in its rightful place."

I smiled and leaned up to kiss him, my life beginning to feel complete again, a feeling I hadn't felt in several months.


	16. Epilogue

Epilogue

5 Years Later

_I remember trying not to stare_

_The night that I first met you_

_You had me mesmerized_

_And three weeks later in the front porch light_

_Taking forty five minutes to kiss goodnight_

_I hadn't told you yet, but I thought I loved you then._

_Now your my whole life_

_Now your my whole world_

_And I just can't believe_

_The way I feel about you girl_

_Like a river meets the sea_

_Stronger than it's ever been_

_We've come so far since that day_

_And, I thought I loved you then._

_I remember taking you back_

_To right where I first met you_

_You were so surprised_

_There people around, but I didn't care_

_I got down on one knee right there_

_And once again, I thought I loved you then._

_Now your my whole life_

_Now your my whole world_

_And I just can't believe_

_The way I feel about you girl_

_Like a river meets the sea_

_Stronger than it's ever been_

_We've come so far since that day_

_And, I thought I loved you then._

_I can just see you_

_With a baby on the way_

_I can just see you_

_When your hair is turning gray_

_What I can't see_

_Is how I'm ever going to love you more_

_But, I've said that before._

_Now your my whole life_

_Now your my whole world_

_And I just can't believe_

_The way I feel about you girl_

_We'll look back someday_

_At this moment that we're in_

_And I'll look at you and say_

_"And, I thought I loved you then."_

_And, I thought I loved you then..._

Gabriella was sitting backstage, tears falling from her eyes. Her husband of four years had just finished singing a new song he had written for her. It had been a surprise and she hadn't known anything about it until he had begun singing. The lyrics had touched her and had also made her think of memories they shared, like the day they got married.

_Gabriella stood looking in the mirror of her dressing room. Today was they day she had been waiting for, for nearly five years. Today, she was going to marry Troy. But doubts kept filling her mind the longer she stood there. She knew they had learned to communicate better, but she was still constantly worried that something might get left unsaid that would come between them. Also, there was the issue of women. What if Troy suddenly got tired of her and found another woman? There were so many that he came in contact with on his tours._

_Her thoughts were interrupted when the door to her dressing room came open. Laura walked in holding a folded piece of paper. Gabriella looked from the paper to Laura, and back to the paper. Gabriella looked up at Laura, wondering what it could be._

"_It's for you," she said. "He would have rather said these things in person, but I told him that the groom was not to see the bride before the ceremony." Laura handed the paper over. "I'll leave you with it. You have 15 minutes."_

_Gabriella nodded as Laura walked out. She began unfolding the paper and started to read._

_**Brie, None the Richer:**_

_**If I know you at all, I know you are standing in your room right now having doubts run through your mind. Please don't ever doubt my love for you. I fell in love with you the day I found out you didn't know exactly who I was. You acted as if it wasn't a big deal. I was in a band. Yeah, you were shocked, but who wouldn't be? But the fact is, you have stood by me through all of that since then and just when I thought I couldn't love you more than I did at that moment, you proved me wrong. I loved you yesterday, but not as much as I do today, especially at this moment. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. You are the only woman I would ever want to be with. I know I'm selfish to ask you to be mine, because I don't deserve someone like you. You deserve someone so much better, but when it comes to you, I want to be selfish. I want to keep you all to myself. I love you, Gabriella Montez (last time I'll be able to say that!) and I will love you until the day I die.**_

_**Yours forever,**_

_**Troy**_

_Tears were rolling down her cheeks by the time she finished the letter. He always knew exactly what she was feeling or thinking even if he wasn't in the same room. She couldn't ask for a better fiancé._

_Laura came back in a few minutes later. "Feeling better now?" She asked as she gently wiped away Gabriella's tears._

_Gabriella nodded. "Help me fix my makeup. I have a fiancé to meet at the end of the aisle in five minutes."_

_The ceremony was beautiful. Laura was Gabriella's maid of honor, along with Kelsi and Taylor as her bridesmaids. Kevin was Troy's best man, along with Jason and Chad as his groomsmen. And of course, Paul walked her down the aisle. He's always been the tough one, but tears were in his eyes as he gave her away._

Troy had just finished the last song of the night and was walking off stage, in a hurry so he could talk to Brie. He wanted to know what she thought of the song he had written for her. He hadn't told her that he was writing it. He wanted to surprise her. He had recently found the letter he'd written on the day of their wedding and had written the song based off of the words he'd used to express how much he loved her.

As he walked off stage, he spotted Gabriella, standing a few feet away from where he was currently. He walked towards her, seeing she had tears falling and a far away look in her eyes. He immediately felt concern for her and walked more quickly to get to where she was. When he reached her, he wrapped his arms around her.

"Brie?" he said, trying to get her attention when she didn't respond to his presence.

She heard him and looked up at him, smiling. "You did great, Babe, as always."

"Thanks. You ok?" he asked, still worried about why she was crying and wondering what she had been thinking about before he interrupted her.

"Never better." She gave a smile that was genuine. It eased some of his worries, but he was still concerned.

He smiled softly at her. "Where did my wife go just a moment ago before I so rudely interrupted her?"

She laughed. "You didn't rudely interrupt. Actually I was just reminiscing."

"About?"

"Our wedding," she said.

Troy smiled brightly at her. "That was a great day. Actually that was the greatest day of my life…definitely number one on my top 5 list."

"Top 5 list?" she asked. "What's your top 5 list?"

"The top 5 greatest days of my life."

"So what else is on the list?"

"Well number two would have to be the day I became a father."

_Nine month pregnant Gabriella was sitting at home alone. Troy was at the recording studio for the day. Gabriella was currently sitting on the couch relaxing, watching a special on MTV about Troy's band. When the show went to a commercial, Gabriella stood up to go get a bottle of water from the kitchen. As soon as she stood up and began to move, she felt a gush of liquid run down her leg to the floor. She looked down at the floor in shock and began to panic. She was all alone and had always been told by Troy's manager not to bother him on the days he was recording. She knew she had to, though._

_She picked up the phone and dialed Troy's cell phone in case he had it on him. It rang several times before going to voice mail. Since she had come back from Albuquerque, he had been better about keeping it on and with him in case she called him._

_The next number she tried was the number of the studio he was recording at. When a woman picked up, she transferred Gabriella to a phone near where Troy was. Troy's manager picked up the phone._

"_John Stevens speaking," his gruff voice said._

"_John, it's Gabriella. I need to talk to Troy," Gabriella said, growing more nervous and scared about the current situation she was in._

"_Troy is recording right now. Why don't I take a message and when he is done I'll have him call you. It will probably be a while, though. He doesn't need any distractions right now, you know that."_

"_John, I know that. But my water just broke and I need him to come get me and take me to the hospital!"_

"_OH! Just a minute. He'll be there to get you. Are you at home?" he asked, concern lacing his voice._

"_Yes, please hurry!"_

_Gabriella heard the phone click, signaling John had hung up. As she was walking back to the couch, her first bad contraction hit her, causing her to double over from the pain of it. After the contraction subsided, she made it to the couch and sat there until Troy finally arrived 15 minutes later._

"_Brie? Where are you?" Troy shouted as he came in the door._

"_On the couch," Gabriella shouted back._

_Troy came running in, worry etched in his features. "Let's get you to the hospital."_

_Five hours later, Gabriella lay in her bed, holding her new son, Hayden Michael Bolton. Troy sat in the chair next to her bed, one hand holding Gabriella's, the other gently stroking his son's cheek._

"_He's such a beautiful baby," Gabriella said, tears in her eyes._

"_Yes he is," Troy said, as he turned to look up at Gabriella. "Hey, why are you crying?" Troy moved his hand to reach up and wipe away the tears that were slowly falling down Gabriella's face._

"_I'm just so happy. This is one of the best days of my life."_

_Troy smiled. "Me, too. I'll remember it for the rest of my life."_

Gabriella smiled at the memory, and then looked back at Troy. "What's next?"

"Number 3 would be the day you told me I was going to be a father for the first time."

_Troy and Gabriella had been married for a year. Gabriella had decided to get a job to give her something to do while Troy was so busy with his music career. This prevented her from going on his tour with him. He had just gotten back from his most recent tour. It was a shorter one, so he was only gone for 4 weeks. He had talked to Gabriella every day and missed her horribly. He had come back a day early, wanting to surprise her._

_When he got home, the house was totally dark. "Hmm, I wonder where she is…" he thought. He walked quietly through the house and finally found her curled up in bed asleep. He smiled and slowly slid onto the bed, hoping not to disturb her._

_Troy lay in bed for several minutes before Gabriella began to stir. She rolled over and slowly opened her eyes. When she saw him, her eyes lit up and she smiled. "What are you doing here? I thought you weren't going to be home until tomorrow."_

"_What, no 'Honey, I'm so glad you're home!'?" Troy teased._

_Gabriella reached over and lightly swatted Troy's arm. "You know I'm glad you're home," she said as she moved over closer to him._

_Troy looked at her bedside table, then down at her. "What's up with the saltines and water bottles? Have you not been feeling well?" Troy asked her, concerned she had been sick while he had been gone and he hadn't been here to take care of her._

"_Actually I haven't been feeling well. But I'm ok."_

"_Well how long has this been going on? Have you been to the doctor? You know I don't like it when you get sick, especially when I can't be here with you."_

_Gabriella laughed at the rambling Troy was doing. "It's been this way for about a week, and, yes, I have been to the doctor."_

"_Well, why didn't you tell me? I have talked to you every day on the phone and you never mentioned that you had been sick."_

"_I didn't mention it because I didn't want you to be concerned or distracted. Also I knew you would ask lots of questions and I didn't want to tell you over the phone. I wanted to tell you in person."_

"_Tell me what in person? Are you ok? Is it something serious?" Troy asked, worry evident in his eyes._

_Gabriella began to giggle at how worked up Troy was getting. She reached up and laid her hand on his cheek, gently rubbing it, calming him down. "Babe, I'm fine. Actually I'm more than great. I'm more worried about how you're going to react, though."_

"_What? Why are you worried about my reaction? Just tell me…please. You can tell me anything. You know that, right?"_

_Gabriella nodded. "I'm pregnant, Troy."_

_Troy laid there just staring at Gabriella for a moment before what she told him fully sunk in. A huge grin spread on Troy's face before he scooped Gabriella up in his arms and hugged her. "Why were you worried? This is the best news I've had all day…actually all week!"_

_Gabriella pulled back and looked up at Troy. "I really wanted to tell you in a special way, but I was so worried about what you would say. We hadn't talked about kids all that much and I wasn't sure how you would react to having a child this soon in our marriage, especially when you're music career is doing so well."_

"_Don't ever think that my music career comes first. If this is the time to have kids, then we are having kids and my career can hold on for a while."_

"_I love you," Gabriella said, smiling at Troy. "You're the best husband I could ever ask for. What did I ever do to deserve you?"_

_Troy smiled back. "I love you, too. And I could say the same about you as my wife."_

"Number 4 would be the day you told me I was going to be a father again," Troy said, as he patted Gabriella's seven month pregnant belly.

_Troy and his two-year-old son, Hayden, were playing at the park one day. Gabriella had asked Troy to take care of him for the day while she ran errands. He happily agreed considering he hadn't spent a whole lot of time with him recently since he had been so busy with his music. But the strange thing about it all was that Gabriella wouldn't tell Troy where she was going or what she was doing. All she told him was that she would see him back at home._

_After a couple of hours at the park, Troy decided to take Hayden home so that he could get his afternoon nap. When he got home, he noticed that Gabriella was already back home. 'Well she must not have gone shopping with Sharpay,' he thought._

_He went inside and was going to take Hayden upstairs to put him down for a nap before going to find Gabriella, but Gabriella met them at the door and took Hayden from Troy's arms._

"_We'll be right back," she said, as she walked off and left a confused Troy still standing in the open front door._

_Troy shut the front door and went to sit on the couch, waiting for Gabriella and Hayden to return so that he could find out why Gabriella had been acting so strange recently._

_About five minutes later, Hayden came running in to the living room. "Daddy, Daddy!"_

_Troy held out his arms and scooped Hayden up when he reached him. "What?"_

"_Mommy has a baby in her tummy." Gabriella came walking slowly back into the living room, watching Troy's reactions._

_Troy looked at Gabriella, silently asking her if it was true. She simply nodded at him and smiled. _

_Troy grinned at her then looked back at Hayden. "You're going to be a big brother, big guy!" _

_Troy held onto Hayden as he stood up and made his way over to Gabriella and wrapped her in a hug. "I love you, so much. Just when I thought I couldn't get any happier than I am at this moment, you go and prove me wrong."_

_Gabriella grinned. "I love you, too."_

"You know, what I said that day I meant. I really never thought I could get any happier or find my life getting better and better. But you always manage to find some way to do that for me and I love you more and more every day for it."

Gabriella had tears in her eyes as she heard the sincerity in Troy's voice as he spoke to her. She cleared her throat before speaking again. "So what is number five?"

"The day you walked back into my life," Troy said, looking at Gabriella with a loving look in his eyes.

"The day I walked back into your life?" Troy nodded. "When I moved back from Albuquerque?" Troy nodded again, smiling softly. "But what about your music? You didn't mention anything about your music in the greatest days of your life. Surely there is something from that to be mentioned."

"Oh, there is. Like the day that I found out we got a record deal…or the day that our first CD came out. But those are further down the list," Troy said. Gabriella gave Troy a confused look. "Family will always be at the top of my list. Nothing will ever top the days that I spend with my family. Throughout our relationship, we have faced many trials. So many things have tried to break up our love for each other. And as long as you never leave, things will be great. If you left me, I honestly don't know what I would do because since I have been with you, my life has been the best that it could possibly ever be."

Gabriella smiled and leaned over to kiss Troy, then said, "There's no 'if' about it. I'll never leave you. Leaving you once was the biggest mistake of my life."

THE END

**Oh my goodness! It's over! I'm kinda sad about that. Sorry about the huge delay with the ending. I probably won't be getting much writing done since I am back in school and have been extremely busy. But I will try to get some writing done every now and then. I may have a oneshot soon, but we'll see how it goes and if I actually like it once I get it written.**

**Thanks to all of you who reviewed and stuck with me patiently while I have been writing this.**

**The song at the beginning was "Then" by Brad Paisley. (I don't own)**


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